Forget You Not
by Crawler
Summary: Freshman year at McKinley is hard enough for Kurt without his father's sudden amnesia from a traffic accident. As if his dad not remembering him wasn't bad enough, Kurt also has to deal with school bullies... and Finn Hudson. pre-Glee what-if
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Forget You Not

**Author:** Spider

**Characters:** Kurt and Finn (Kurt/Finn), Burt, Carole, Puck, Quinn, Mercedes

**Rating:** R-NC-17.

**Warnings:** Bullying, bad language, use of the f-word, assholejock!Burt, suicide, sexual contact.

**Spoilers:** Kurt used to have a crush on Finn! And he's gay!

**Disclaimer:** I _wish_ I had some claim on Glee.

**Summary:** Freshman year at McKinley is hard enough for Kurt without his father's sudden amnesia from a traffic accident. With his father reverting to his pre-Kurt asshole ways at home and the school's resident bullies Puck and Finn leading his harassment at school, life cannot possibly get any worse for Kurt. (Pre-Glee what-if)

**Notes:** This is the premise of my other story, Forget Me Not, but set a year earlier, before Kurt had Glee and great friends to support him. It was written for the Kurt Big Bang and is dedicated toscottishwillow for the inspirational comment that started it all.

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* * *

_**FORGET YOU NOT**_

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There was an unwritten code of conduct at William McKinley High School, and everyone knew it. There were certain things that you just did because you were as cool (or uncool) as you were. As the quarterback, Finn Hudson was automatically cool. And he was tall. That made him cool too. And Quinn Fabray was his girlfriend (though he didn't know how that happened). Even though she was only a freshman, she was the coolest girl at school, and that made Finn even cooler. Finn didn't have much else going for him, cool-wise. He wasn't a total stud like his best friend, Noah Puckerman. He didn't have a list of Cheerios he had tapped (or cougars), his arms were kinda skinny instead of big and thick, and he didn't have a mohawk that everyone else tried to imitate without actually shaving their heads. And he was nice. Too nice. As the quarterback, Finn was automatically the coolest guy at school, but as a nice guy, he kinda... wasn't. Not when standing next to Puck, at least.

Finn didn't mind, though. As the unofficial coolest guy at school, that meant Puck was the one who grabbed the scrawny dweebs around their chests and hoisted them into the dumpsters. Because that was what you _did_ when you were cool. And being thrown in the dumpsters was what you did if you were a dweeb. Nobody minded, nobody cared. It was how things worked. No point in protesting.

Except Finn couldn't bring himself to do it. He could just imagine his mom's face if she heard he was trashing the geek population, quite literally. He couldn't bring himself to actually lift up the dweebs.

But he could watch. _Supervise_. That was the word for the leader who told others what to do but didn't actually get his hands dirty. There was only one thing he actually did, and that was when it was Kurt Hummel's turn.

Picking on Hummel was another thing that you just _did_ if you were cool. The small boy was an easy target, with his prissy clothes and the way he walked around with his nose in the air. He acted like he was higher than even Puck in terms of coolness, but really, Hummel was lower than the special ed kids. They, at least, had an excuse for being unaware of the rules. Hummel was just an idiot. So picking on Hummel was what they did.

And it wasn't like Hummel minded. After they threw him in the dumpster, for example, he'd just hop out, snatch his coat out of Finn's hands, and stalk off toward the school. He never got upset over it. Or if they threw a slushie in his face, he just disappeared for ten minutes or so and came back wearing something different and still looking just as haughty and stuck-up as ever. Hummel knew that it was his job to be picked on, just as it was Finn and Puck's job to do the picking.

Today, though... today things were different. Hummel had been looking icker and icker every day he had come to school for the past couple of weeks, and the other guys had even taunted him about how his face was all white and kinda blotchy as he took his jacket off and offered it to Finn to hold. Hummel hadn't said anything, which was a bit weird, and had actually kinda flinched a little at the pre-toss round of insults. He usually just kept his nose up and insulted them right back, with big words that none of them would admit to looking up with Google afterward (because none of them could ever figure out how to spell the words).

After tossing Hummel into the dumpster (he was always the last of the morning), the other jocks filtered away and Finn would wait for Hummel to hop out before heading off himself. But it had been five minutes now, and Hummel was still in the dumpster. Finn shifted from foot to foot, glancing toward the school. Puck'd probably be laughing at him now, for waiting for the gay kid, but Finn wasn't about to steal his jacket. It wouldn't fit him, anyway. What was taking Hummel so long? Had he gotten hurt or something this time?

Tossing the dweebs in was one thing, but actually _hurting_ them? Finn glanced toward the school again, then stepped over to the dumpster, climbing onto the side and looking down.

Hummel was curled up in a little ball, shaking. He had his arms wrapped around his head, and occasionally, he made this little sound kinda like he was crying but trying to hold his breath at the same time.

"Uh..."

At the sound of Finn's voice, Hummel snapped his head up, looking straight at him. And he looked _scared_. Finn had never seen Hummel look anything other than mildly pissed off before. And Hummel's face... if it had been blotchy before they threw him in, it was just a mess now, all mottled pink and red and white and very wet. He _was_ crying.

This wasn't how it worked. The cool kids tossed the uncool kids in the dumpster. The uncool kids climbed out and went about their day. They didn't curl up and burst into tears.

His mom would not be happy with him.

Finn looked around wildly for someone else to help, but he was alone out here with Hummel. And Hummel was shaking again, shaking pretty badly, too, reaching up and trying to wipe his face dry with his fingers as he gulped down breaths. He knew this wasn't how things were supposed to go either. Their balance was all out of whack.

"Uh..." Finn thrust out his arm, still holding Hummel's coat. "You want your jacket back?"

Hummel's eyes darted to the jacket, and he gave a little nod, his tongue flicking out over his lips before he rocked forward, fingers curling around the sleeve. He didn't pull back, though, just froze there, looking up at Finn.

This was the first time, Finn realized, that he had ever looked into Hummel's eyes. They were kinda a bluey-grey right now, and bloodshot, and filled with tears. Hummel looked absolutely crushed. And _wanting_. Something about Hummel's eyes, and his face, and the way he was holding the jacket draped over Finn's arm but not trying to pull it off, all seemed to be pleading with Finn. Begging him.

The little gay kid wanted something from him. Finn felt his face flush. Of course he did. Finn was the official coolest guy at school, and definitely hunkier than Puck (according to Quinn, who was the official keeper of the ranking of the hotness of guys at McKinley). Every girl had a crush on him. It made sense that the gay boy did too. "Take your faggy jacket!" He tilted his arm, dropping the coat onto the trash bags, and shoved away from the dumpster before Hummel tried to kiss him or something. As he jogged off toward the school building, he tried to ignore the broken sob that followed him.

Finn didn't tell Puck that he was looking for Hummel as he craned his neck to see around the crush of students in the cafeteria. Nor did he mention that he was worried when he glanced over to see Hummel's seat empty during Spanish. And after school, when Puck and Karofsky were laughing over how Hummel hadn't been there for his end-of-school slushie, Finn just shoved his hands in his pockets and glanced guiltily toward the dumpsters.

"Think he finally learned his lesson?" Puck asked, fist-bumping Karofsky. "Queer little freaks like him aren't welcome here!"

"Yeah," Finn said. "Not welcome..."

Finn got halfway home before he couldn't take it anymore, and he turned around. By the time he had returned to school, just about everyone had cleared out. There were no witnesses to squeal to ben Israel about how Finn pulled up close to the dumpsters and carefully climbed up onto the side, peering over the metal edge.

Hummel was curled up in a corner, his jacket wrapped around him like a blanket, a bag of trash over his legs. He had his head pillowed on his arm against the side; those pleading eyes of his closed. He looked like he was only sleeping, except his face was now all white and his lips were a little blueish. It _was_ cold, late in the season, even if the dumpster blocked most of the wind, and if Hummel had really been out here all day...

"Psst!" Finn leaned in closer, flexing his fingers over the lip of the dumpster. "Hummel!" He dropped down, moving over to the corner Hummel was curled up against, and climbed up again. "Psst!"

When Hummel didn't stir, Finn took a deep breath (ooh, mistake. It took a moment for him to stop gagging on the smell) and reached in to tug Hummel's hair. Hummel did wake up at that, giving a squawk and flailing back and falling onto a black bag of trash. His eyes were open now, and that scared look was back.

"Were you seriously _asleep_?" Finn asked, staring incredulously at the smaller boy. How could prissy Kurt Hummel have fallen asleep someplace that smelled this bad?

"I-I-I..." Hummel was starting to shiver now, as if he had only just realized how cold he was. He pressed his hands together, rubbing white fingers. "W-w-what time is it?"

"School's out," Finn said, leaning on the dumpster's edge. "You've been in here all day."

Hummel's mouth dropped open a little, his hands stilling their frantic twisting. "All _d-d-day_!"

"Yeah." Finn frowned a little, not sure what to do in this situation. "Uh... you, uh... got a ride home?"

"I w-w-walk." Hummel was moving again, pulling his jacket on, rubbing his hands together more, rubbing his legs and trying to stand up. He stumbled as he tried to find footing on the uneven garbage, and Finn grabbed his arm before he could fall again.

"I'll, uh... give you a ride." Finn tried not to blush as Hummel stared at where he was holding Hummel's arm, and then at his face. "Since you're, er, turning blue. But don't tell anyone."

"As if anyone would b-b-believe me," Hummel whispered.

Hummel moved as if he were half-frozen, and Finn actually had to help him climb out of the dumpster, which was a first for him. By the time Hummel was standing on the solid asphalt again, his face was pink and he was staring very determinedly anywhere that wasn't Finn. Finn coughed nervously and dragged Hummel's bag out from behind the dumpster, thrusting it out at him before heading toward his car. He didn't bother helping Hummel in, waiting while the other boy fumbled with the handle and climbed in slowly, eying Finn as if he were expecting to be bitten or something.

"Where do you live?" Finn asked, drumming his fingers nervously on the wheel and adjusting the rearview mirror. Hummel was checking over his shoulder, glancing in the backseat, and Finn frowned. "Look, there's no one else in here. I'm not gonna beat you up, okay? Just trying to do a good deed here."

Hummel shrank back a little at the words, nodding and buckling himself in. He whispered an address before pressing his hands between his knees, rubbing them together.

Finn leaned over to turn the heat up as he pulled out of the parking lot, just giving a nod to Hummel's silent look of gratitude. "You can mess with the vents if you want," he said. "I don't care." Hummel nodded in return and started shifting all the vents to point straight at him, holding his hands over one of them when he finished.

By the time Finn found Hummel's house (only requiring a few directions when he was about to make a wrong turn), Hummel was no longer blue-tinged, though he was still sitting quite tensely on the seat beside Finn, glancing over his way every few minutes. He unbuckled when Finn pulled into his driveway, gathering up his bag. "Thank you for the ride." Hummel took a deep breath, turning to Finn, his expression much more like his usual self: haughty and superior, except for the mottled color on his slowly-warming face and his damp cheeks kinda made him just look sad and pathetic. "Did you... um... want to come in?"

Finn knew, from what manners his mother had taught him and the way Hummel asked, that the other boy was just trying to be polite and didn't actually want him to come in. At the same time, though... Finn glanced up at Hummel's house. It was at least twice the size of his own and looked expensive and fancy. Kinda like Quinn's, only a new sort of fancy instead of an old sort. Finn was curious: what did it look like inside? "Got anything to eat in there?"

Hummel's mouth actually dropped open for a moment, and then he nodded slowly. Finn gave him a grin and shut off the engine. "Then yeah. I'm game. Never turn down free food..." And he could also use this as a chance for reconnaissance, should the guys ever want to do a sequel to the lawn-furniture-on-the-roof thing (that had been all Puck's idea, and Finn had already been grounded that night, so he could only hear about it second-hand). At least, that was the excuse he could give if they found out that he'd gone inside gay kid's house. Hummel was half his size, though. He'd be able to make it out unmolested.

Hummel was all twitchy as he unlocked the front door and pushed it open. "Dad?" he called out, glancing nervously over at Finn. "I'm home..."

"About time!" Hummel actually flinched at the return shout. Mr. Hummel sounded like a big man, from the sound of his voice. It wasn't high and wussy like Hummel's. "I've had Jason calling here to find out where you were!"

"Jas-crap!" Hummel dug in his pocket, pulling out his cell and sending a quick text. Finn frowned curiously at him, and Hummel shrugged, shoving the phone away again. "I work at the garage after school. Completely forgot..."

"Uh... did you need a ride there?" Finn asked. Hummel worked at a _garage_?

Hummel was shaking his head, though, gesturing at his pocket. "No, just told him I wouldn't be in today, sorry for worrying him. You wanted something to eat?"

"You can just skip work like that?" Finn asked, trailing after Hummel as he led him, presumably, toward the kitchen. Hummel's house _was_ big, big and expensive-looking. The floors were wood and the furniture had a lot of black and glass and metal.

"My dad owns it," Hummel said, pausing for a moment outside a den. He pressed his lips together, then held up one finger to Finn and stepped inside. "Dad? Did you want anything?"

"I thought I told you not to call me that," a big man in a recliner grumbled. He was watching some football game on a _massive_ tv (Finn _ached_ for that tv. What was it, fifty, fifty-five inches!), a tray of dirty dishes sitting on the table beside him. His right leg was propped up on a stack of pillows on the footrest of the recliner and wrapped in a cast from ankle to mid-thigh, and some crutches leaned against the wall beside him.

"And the therapist told us it might help," Hummel answered, not looking at Finn as he restacked the dishes so smaller ones were on top.

"That therapist is a quack," Mr. Hummel grumbled. "I want a different one."

"You've been through three in three weeks," Hummel murmured, adding a half-drunk bottle of water to the tray. "How about you give him more than one appointment?"

"If I wanted your opinion, I'd ask for it. Now go do something useful for once and make me a sandwich. And not one of those prissy vegetable ones. Make it a BLT."

"The cholesterol will-"

"Kurt." The older Hummel was frowning at the boy, and Finn shifted awkwardly. _This_ was probably why Hummel hadn't wanted him to come in. "Bring me a beer, too."

"Not with your meds."

"_Kurt_," Mr. Hummel growled, actually _growled_.

"_No_." Hummel popped open an orange bottle, dumped several pills into his hand, and thrust them toward the man. "Just swallow these. I'll bring you a sandwich."

Mr. Hummel gave a disdainful snort as he took the pills from Hummel, but then he noticed Finn lingering in the doorway. "Who's that?" he asked, nodding toward Finn. "You bringing your boyfriends over now?"

"Dad!" Hummel's face went absolutely red now, and Finn looked between them in distress. _Whoa there!_ He was _not_ Hummel's boyfriend! "I told you, I'm not gay! I'm just... Finn's a... from school. He gave me a ride home. He... I'm going to make you that sandwich now. Take your meds."

Hummel snatched up the tray and pushed past Finn, stalking off down the hall. Finn glanced back at Mr. Hummel. "I'm totally not a fag, dude," he said, shaking his head, before he hurried after Hummel.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," Hummel said, when Finn had found him in the kitchen (it was huge, and all the appliances were stainless steel, and there wasn't a crumb to be seen. The only thing out of place was the tray Hummel had just brought in, but he was already rinsing the dishes and putting them in the dishwasher). "My dad, he's... he's not himself..."

Finn hoisted himself onto the counter, frowning a little at Hummel's back. "What's wrong with him?"

Hummel sighed as he closed the dishwasher and moved to the refrigerator. Everything in there was neat and organized too, Finn noticed. "He's... there was an accident, almost a month ago." Hummel's voice was wavering a little, thick and heavy. "Car accident. His right leg's broken in three places—you saw the cast. And various other injuries make it hard for him to get around. And..." Hummel took a shaky breath, pulling sandwich meat and cheese out of the fridge. "Brain damage," he whispered, not even glancing Finn's way.

"_Brain damage_!" Finn glanced back over his shoulder, toward the den. "So your dad's, like, retarded now or something?"

"No," Hummel snapped, shooting Finn a glare over his shoulder. "He's just... it's amnesia. Selective retrograde amnesia." He drew out a knife and a cutting board, moving fluidly through the kitchen.

"So he doesn't remember anything?"

"No..." Hummel's voice was growing softer. "He remembers everything just fine. Except..."

"Except?"

Hummel paused, his knife halfway through the cheese, and Finn could see him close his eyes and swallow hard enough to make his Adam's apple bob. "Me," he whispered. "He doesn't remember _me._"

"Dude." Finn shook his head slowly. "That's gotta be harsh, man."

"We're surviving." Hummel opened his eyes, turning his attention back to sandwich making. "Would you like a sandwich?"

"Yeah, sure," Finn said. "Thanks. Does he always talk to you like that?"

"Ever since the accident," Hummel murmured. "He doesn't believe that I'm his son. I had to show him my birth certificate, and he still..." He shook his head, pressing his lips together and reaching for a loaf of bread.

"Why doesn't your mom just tell him to shove it?" Finn asked. "Wouldn't he believe _her_?"

Hummel looked sharply at Finn, then softened, shaking his head and turning aside to pull some plates out of a cupboard. "My mom is dead."

He said it so quietly that Finn almost missed it. Almost. He didn't, though, and the words hit him like a punch to the gut. Three weeks ago, there was a car accident, and now Hummel's mother was dead and his father didn't remember him, and Puck and his friends still threw him in the dumpster. Little surprise Hummel hadn't tried to climb out today. "Oh shit, man, I'm sorry. I didn't know... in the accident?"

"What?" Hummel looked toward Finn again, looking confused for a moment, before awareness dawned and he shook his head quickly. "_Oh_. Oh, no, she died years ago. When I was seven."

"Oh." _Awkwaaaard..._ "My dad died when I was a baby." Finn fidgeted, unsure why he had volunteered that information. That was something not even all his friends knew; they all knew his dad wasn't in the picture, but they didn't know what had happened to him. Puck knew, but that was about it. "I can't imagine not having Mom around..."

"I don't have to imagine," Hummel whispered, his hands stilling again in the process of assembling the sandwiches. "Here." He picked up one plate, offering it over to Finn, before putting the second on the tray, along with a fresh bottle of water from the fridge. "I'll... be right back. Just going to run this down the hall."

Finn nodded, watching as Hummel slipped out of the kitchen. He frowned to himself as he took a bit of his sandwich. It tasted pretty good, actually, even if Hummel had added lettuce and tomato to it. And was that a pickle! He only ever got pickles on his sandwiches at restaurants!

"What took you so long?" Finn could hear Mr. Hummel's voice even from the kitchen. "You'd better not have been fucking that Finn kid..."

"Dad!"

Hummel's protest was too quiet for Finn to hear, but he didn't need to make out the words to make up his mind. When Hummel returned a minute later, his face all red again, mouth in a tight line, and those pale eyes of his brimming with tears, Finn shook his head. "You can't stay here."

"Excuse me?" Hummel had turned away from Finn, busying himself with putting things back in the fridge, but Finn could see Hummel's hand lifting too close to his eyes to be just cleaning up. "I _live_ here."

"Yeah, but your dad's an abusive pig." Like Puck's dad had been, before he cut out. Finn barely remembered Puck's dad, but he had never liked the man who had smelled of smoke and booze and clapped him on the back too hard.

"He is not!" Hummel turned sharply, putting his hands on his hips. "My dad is _amazing_, Hudson!"

"Yeah. And he doesn't even let you call him 'dad.'" Finn took another bite of his sandwich. "Just sayin'..."

Hummel deflated, turning away and bracing his hands on the counter. "My dad _is_ amazing," he said dully. "But that man isn't my dad anymore..."

"You need to get out," Finn said. "Stay with some friends or something."

Hummel gave a dry laugh. "You think I have _friends_?"

Finn frowned. He was afraid of that. "You could... crash at my place for a bit. I mean, that doesn't make us friends or anything. You just... dude, you fell asleep in a _dumpster_ today!"

Hummel's open-mouthed look of shock didn't seem at all faked. Finn couldn't blame him. Just this morning, he'd been supervising Hummel's daily dumpster-toss, and now he was offering the other boy space on his couch? Puck was going to _laugh_ at him. And then make Hummel's life miserable.

Hummel seemed aware of that, though, and was already recovering, closing his mouth and shaking his head. "I can't. Couldn't. Dad... I can't leave him. He can barely make it to the bathroom on his own. He needs someone around to make sure things get done, like cooking and laundry and... he can't be on his own. I have to take care of him."

"You're gonna run yourself into an early grave like this, Hummel."

"Why do you even care?" Hummel asked quietly. "It's not like you _like_ me or anything."

"I..." Finn took another bite of his sandwich, frowning. "I just... I do, okay? This sucks, that guy sucks, and it's not fair that you've got to deal with all his crap on your own. I mean, you're _my_ age. I couldn't do all this."

"I have to," Hummel said. "Because no one else will."

"Then... then bring him too." Finn was nodding now. "Yeah. Yeah, you and your dad, you can come stay with Mom and me, until your dad's leg heals."

"Finn..."

"My house is smaller than this one," Finn said, "so he wouldn't have to walk so far to the bathroom or anything, right? And my mom works at Lima Memorial, so she knows how to take care of people and stuff. So you don't have to do everything. And then you don't have to be alone either."

Hummel was staring at Finn in shock again, and Finn dug out his phone. "I'll call Mom right now," he said, already punching in her number. "You'll see..."


	2. Chapter 2

**FORGET YOU NOT**

_Chapter Two_

* * *

_._

Finn _really _needed to think his plans through before executing them. It was a lack of careful planning that had led to Kurt Hummel sitting on his bed in pajamas. At least the guy had normal-looking pajamas, an extra-large t-shirt and flannel pants. And at least he _had _pajamas and didn't sleep naked or something.

Finn's mom had been absolutely awesome about the idea, though she wondered why she had never heard of Finn's friend Kurt before. Still, she welcomed the Hummels into their home and helped Burt (Hummel had told Finn his father's name and then scowled as Finn teased him for how they rhymed ("I didn't choose my name!" Hummel had protested. "Besides, you're one to talk, Finn and Quinn...")) get situated in his dad's armchair. Finn had felt a little twitchy about that at first, but it wasn't like Burt was _replacing _his dad. He just needed a chair with a footrest so he could keep his leg up.

But Burt would be sleeping in that armchair, which meant that Hummel would have the couch beside him, and while he had insisted that was fine, the whole argument Finn had given his mom was that Hummel shouldn't be left alone with his brain-damaged dad. So she had insisted that Hummel room with Finn. They were friends, after all, and Finn had no problem with Puck crashing in his bed when he spent the night.

Puck wasn't _gay_, though. That was the difference. Finn had tried to explain this to his mom, but she had scolded him and pointed out that it wasn't exactly appropriate for Hummel to room with _her_, after all, and he seemed like such a nice, polite boy (probably because he had offered to help cook and clean up dinner), and really, Finn, hadn't he been raised better than that?

"I can sleep on the floor," Hummel said, fidgeting nervously. Finn sighed and pushed his hands into his hair.

"Nah... if Mom came in and saw you on the floor, she'd chew me out. Just... just keep your hands to yourself, yeah? Because I'm not gay, and I don't want to be ass-raped in my sleep."

"I'm not gay either," Hummel murmured, staring at his knees, his face red as he hugged his arms around himself. "And I'd _never_-"

"Why do you keep saying that?" Finn demanded, scowling at Hummel. "Dude, you are _totally _gay. You are more homo than a basket of fruit! The way you talk, you look, you act... you're not even _trying _to not be gay!"

"I'm sorry," Hummel snapped waspishly back. "I didn't realize that my sexuality was that important to you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Finn demanded.

"It _means_," Hummel hissed, pushing himself to his feet, "that seeing as how I would _never _ass-rape you, even if you were the last guy on earth, it doesn't matter if I'm gay or straight or whatever. So just _stop it _with the gay-bashing, okay? I'm getting enough of that from my dad; I do _not _need you adding to the steaming pile of _crap _my life has become!" He stormed out of Finn's room, slamming the door behind him.

Now it was Finn's turn to gape open-mouthed after Hummel. He hadn't meant it like _that_... and where did Hummel think he was going to storm off to, anyway? It wasn't like there were a lot of places to hide in the Hudson house. He sighed, yanking his door open after a couple minutes. If he didn't fix things with Hummel, his mom would find out, and then there'd be hell to pay. This had been _his _idea, after all.

Unfortunately, Finn's mom found Hummel first. Finn found them in the kitchen, sitting on the floor in a corner formed by the cabinets. Hummel was huddled against her chest, and she had her arms around his back, cuddling him like she used to cuddle Finn. Hummel's body was wracked with sobs, and Finn's mom just rocked him, murmuring softly to him.

"It's okay, sweetie. Let it all out. It's going to be okay. You're not alone anymore."

Alone. Hummel really _was _alone. Who in their right mind would want to be friends with him? He was a real bitch on his best days, stuck-up and snobbish, and even his _dad _hated him.

But Hummel stuck it out with his dad anyway, despite the abuse. Finn could tell that he loved his dad just as much as Finn loved his mom. During dinner, Burt had been a completely different person. He was funny and nice, even though he ignored Hummel. He had made Finn's mom laugh and had even joked around with Finn, once he was sure Finn wasn't having sex with Hummel. And Hummel had smiled at some of the jokes, and his eyes had been warm and soft as he watched his dad during dinner. And he had volunteered to help clean up without even needing a hint, and he really _was _trying to stay out of Finn's way, offering to take the floor and everything. He wasn't allbad...

Finn hovered in the door until Hummel had sobbed himself out, just watching, his guilt growing with every shake of Hummel's shoulders. _He_ had done that to the other boy. He couldn't blame Puck or Karofsky for this one. _He_ had been accusing Hummel of being a gay perv. _He _had made a big deal about Hummel being gay even though he insisted he wasn't. Those words that had made Hummel snap back at him and storm off to cry, that had been all Finn.

Hesitantly, he crept into the kitchen and knelt down by his mom (she had seen him in the door long ago) and Hummel, reaching out to put his hand on Hummel's back. Hummel tensed, turning his face to the side to look back at Finn.

"I'm sorry, dude," Finn said quietly. "I... was out of line back there. You're right. It doesn't matter." Hummel continued to look wary, so Finn tried for a crooked smile. "Let's just... it's been a really weird day. I think sleep is sounding more and more like a good idea."

Finn's mom nodded, leaning in to press a kiss to Hummel's hair. That seemed to startle him more than Finn's presence did, and Finn wondered, for the first time, what it must be like to _be _Hummel. He had no mom to kiss him good night (much as Finn pretended to hate it) or give him a hug when he felt like crap, and no girlfriend to hold his hand, and no friends to hang out with... and on top of that, Hummel had Puck throwing him in the dumpster and Karofsky flinging slushies in his face and Finn yanking him out of his home to force him to share a room with him and then accuse him of wanting to ass-rape him... and his dad couldn't remember him. Finn slid his hand up, squeezing Hummel's shoulder. "Come on," he said quietly. "If Puck can share my bed without it being gay, so can you."

Mostly thanks to Finn's mom, Hummel was able to get into Finn's bed without having another breakdown. Finn hesitantly climbed in beside him, but Hummel was as far to the edge as he could be. There was a good two feet between their backs, and Finn knew Hummel was facing the wall, just so there was absolutely no risk of any sort of gay touching. "So, uh... good night, I guess," Finn said, hesitating before he reached over to turn his bedside lamp off.

"Good night," Hummel murmured back.

After a few minutes of just lying there, listening to Hummel breathing, Finn heard him speak again.

"Finn?"

"Yeah?"

Hummel was quiet for five long breaths. Finn heard every one of them loudly in the dark room.

"Thank you."

.

* * *

.

Normally, Finn woke up at the last possible minute. Normally, he fell out of bed and had time to hop in the shower just long enough to wake himself up, pull his clothes on, and grab a poptart on his way out the door. Normally, Finn did not wake up with the sun pouring in his window, long before his alarm went off for the first time.

Normally, Finn did not wake up with a warm body pressed against his chest and soft hair tickling his lips.

_Mmm... Quinn..._ Finn hugged the other against him, smoothing his hand over Quinn's flat belly. He had the hottest girlfriend at McKinley, and he wanted to make sure she knew it, so he rolled his hips against her butt, letting her feel his morning wood. "All for you, baby..." She murmured her assent, sounding asleep still, and Finn just grinned, pressing his lips to the back of her neck as he slid his hand further down. Would she let him...?

He realized two things at the same time, his sleep-fogged brain stuttering to a halt.

One: Quinn's hair wasn't short enough to bare her neck.

And two: Quinn did _not _sport an erection. Ever.

Finn's eyes flew open, his hand still pressed against Kurt Hummel's dick. And Kurt Hummel was in his arms, and he was rutting up against Kurt Hummel's ass. Kurt fucking Hummel. _Male _Kurt Hummel.

_Ohgodohgodohgod..._

Okay. Don't panic. If he panicked, Hummel would probably panic too. First things first. He pulled his hips away from Hummel's, taking a deep breath, but Hummel didn't stir. Next, he drew his hand away from Hummel's erection (okay, _first _he subtly checked Hummel's length against his own hand, and _then, _after satisfying himself that he was bigger, he pulled his hand away). Finally, he sat up slowly, looking down at the boy sleeping beside him.

Hummel was either still asleep or an excellent faker. His hair was tousled and his cheeks were a pretty shade of pink, but his lips were parted slightly and his eyes were closed. There was a small, very small hint of a smile on his mouth, and Hummel actually looked pretty soft and pretty pretty in the dawn light. Kinda like a fairy. A magical fairy, not a gay fairy. Like a fairy of the morning. Of the dawn.

Dawn. He was awake at fucking _dawn_. All because the totally-gay Hummel was hell-bent on ass-raping him after all.

Except...

Finn sighed, running his hand over his face (and then ewewew, that was totally the hand that had been on Hummel's dick, even if it was through a layer of pajamas). He had to think before he spoke with Hummel, because Hummel was having a really rough time right now. And, if anything... Finn glanced at the other boy again and bit his lip. If anything, _Finn _had been in the position to ass-rape Hummel. He'd been humping Hummel's butt, after all. Hummel was in the same position he had been in when Finn turned the lights off, only closer to the middle of the bed. Finn had been the one who had rolled over and wrapped himself around Hummel and grabbed his dick.

"This did not happen," Finn informed Hummel, shaking a finger at his sleeping form before wriggling out of bed and storming off to the bathroom.

When Finn emerged from the bathroom, Hummel was sitting at the table, looking bleary and half-asleep still, a mug of coffee clasped in his hands. Burt was talking to Finn's mom, making her laugh as she made french toast in the kitchen. "Oh, Finn! Kurt _wasn't _mistaken!"

"About what?" Finn asked in alarm, glancing over at Hummel, who just blinked slowly and covered a yawn.

"Izza bathroom free now...?"

"Yeah, go ahead." As Hummel stumbled off toward the bathroom (clearly not a morning person), Finn frowned at his mother. "_What _was he not mistaken about?"

"About you being awake already, sweetheart!" Carole slid some slices of toast onto a plate and offered it over to Finn. "I _never _see you in the mornings..."

"Your mom's a great cook," Burt said, and Finn could see he already had some french toast and a mug of coffee himself. "You're real lucky to have her, kid."

"Oh, Burt...!"

Finn looked between the parents in alarm and backed away with his plate. "I'm, uh, gonna eat in my room, 'kay?" He fled before they could start flirting in front of him.

Oh god. His mom. Hummel's dad. That would make Hummel practically a _brother_. Puck would never let him live that down...

When Hummel emerged from the bathroom, he looked aloof and untouchable, like usual. His clothes were immaculate (and stupid), not a strand of hair was out of place, and his lips were turned down in a little pout. He was also, Finn couldn't help but notice, wearing very tight jeans. They were practically painted on. And Finn's hand had been _right there_...

Hummel was _not _going to turn him gay. "Uh... I think our parents are flirting."

"Oh?" Hummel looked surprised for a moment, as if he hadn't expected Finn to actually talk to him, and then looked thoughtfully over his shoulder. "Your mother seems very nice, and Dad... it's been eight years. He hasn't dated _anyone _since Mom passed away..."

"No." Finn shook his head, scowling at the smaller boy. "Bad enough you're living with me. We are _not _hooking our parents up."

"Why-" Hummel shut his mouth and gave a small nod. "Ah. Right."

Hummel was in a completely different social class from Finn. They had nothing in common. If their parents hooked up, it would only spell disaster at McKinley. Hummel wouldn't get a popularity boost, but Finn's reputation would absolutely tank. No way was Finn going to let the gay kid drag him down.

Hummel gave a little shrug, though, crouching down to check over his man-purse. "I'd just like my dad to be happy again, to be honest."

"Yeah, cause he sure as hell isn't happy with you..." Finn winced as Hummel stiffened. "Crap, sorry, low blow. Sorry..."

Hummel said nothing, simply got to his feet and shouldered his bag before exiting the room without another word.

Finn groaned and followed Hummel out before he could blab to his mom about what Finn had just said. Hummel didn't seem to be squealing, though, which was a good thing.

"You calling Jason for a ride?" Burt asked Hummel. Hummel nodded mutely, reaching for his phone.

"A ride where?" Finn's mom asked.

"To school," Burt explained. "Jason, one of my mechanics, he takes Kurt in. Kurt's not old enough to have his license yet."

"Finn can take him in."

Burt and Finn's mom both looked at Finn expectantly, but Hummel kept his eyes on his phone. "Really, that's okay," he said quietly. "I can just call Jason..."

"Nonsense." Finn's mom came over to Hummel, putting her hand on his shoulder and smiling at him. "You go to the same school. It's really quite silly for you to take separate vehicles, and for Jason to go out of his way when Finn's right here already."

"Mom, that's okay. If Hummel wants this Jason guy to take him in instead-"

"Finn, where are your manners?" His mother was frowning at him, her gaze warning. If Finn kept refusing, he was going to get grounded. "You can take Kurt in to school, and then afterward, you can bring him home. To his house."

"_His _house?" Finn gaped at his mother, but she only nodded.

"Burt was telling me about it. Their house is bigger than ours, and Burt is more familiar with it. It probably would be for the best if he stayed there while he was recovering. But you were absolutely right—Kurt and Burt shouldn't be alone in that situation, so Burt has offered to let us move in with them until his leg has healed. They have _two and a half_ bathrooms, Finn. We won't have any conflicts in the mornings when you _don't _get up at the crack of dawn."

At least Hummel was trying to give Finn an apologetic look around his mom's body. He couldn't have planned this—he had been in the bathroom or with Finn. Finn growled under his breath and stomped to the front door. "_Fine_. Come on, Hummel. Let's just go to school."


	3. Chapter 3

**FORGET YOU NOT**

* * *

.

.

"You can let me out here."

Those were the first words Hummel spoke for the entire ride in, and he waited until they were a couple blocks from McKinley to say them. "Say what?" Finn asked, frowning over at the smaller boy.

Hummel gestured to the sidewalk. "You can let me out here. I'll walk the rest of the way, so no one has to know you gave me a ride."

_Oh_. Hummel had found a solution to the problem of Finn and Hummel showing up at school in the same car. A two-block walk wasn't bad at all, so Finn didn't have to worry about Hummel not making it and then his mom chewing him out after school, and it spared them both any sort of rumors about a relationship. "Fair enough," Finn said after a moment, pulling over to the side of the road.

A thought struck him, though, and he locked the door before Hummel could open it. "Hey... use the door by the library this morning, okay? Go around the back of the school. No one'll see you enter."

Hummel looked over at Finn, his brow furrowed in a frown, and Finn shrugged. "Look, dude, I figure you've been through enough. You go in the library door, and Puck won't throw you in the dumpster. We don't monitor that entrance." He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "And... I really am sorry for what I said this morning. Just... cut me some slack, okay? I've been picking on you for what, years now? And only one day of trying to be nice. I'm gonna make mistakes. But I'm _trying_."

"I..." Hummel looked away, his voice soft and light, like a girl's. "I don't know _why _you're trying," he said quietly. "But I do appreciate it, Finn. When you're not being a jerk. Thank you..."

"I just..." Finn shrugged again. "If something like this happens to my mom, though, you've gotta repay the favor."

Hummel smiled, a little twitch of his lips, and for just a moment, he looked like the pretty fairy-thing from this morning, all soft and relaxed and happy. "Thank you," he said, though he was so quiet it was almost like he just mouthed the words. Finn nodded and unlocked the door, letting Hummel climb out of the car.

And he totally didn't watch Hummel's ass as he started walking down the road. Because that would be gay. Even if it looked like a girl's in those skinny jeans he was wearing.

_._

* * *

_._

Finn tried to put Hummel out of his mind, but he just couldn't. He blamed Puck, really. When Hummel didn't turn up for his morning dumpster toss, Puck got really pissy, like a wet cat or something. At first he laughed it off, mocked Hummel for being too much of a sissy to show his face after yesterday's toss, but then Hummel showed up for first period and Puck just got _mad._ Finn had to listen to Puck grumbling about Hummel all day, and three times he managed to distract Puck from flinging a slushie into Hummel's perfect face. Of course, that meant three other kids got slushied, but hey, Finn couldn't protect _everyone._

Every time Puck mentioned Hummel, Finn would glance toward Hummel if they were in the same class, and his eyes would run along the curve of Hummel's cheek or the arch of his nose, and every time, he would think of how girly Hummel looked. But if they _weren't _in the same class, that was even worse, because Puck would be snarling under his breath about Hummel and Finn's mind would flash back to that morning, with Hummel's warmth pressed against his chest, the swell of his butt against Finn's hard cock... but that was okay. Because that was all girly parts of Hummel, and it wasn't like Quinn had ever let Finn fall asleep and hold her like that. So it was only natural that he had been turned on by the feel of Hummel's slim body in his arms.

But then his mind would drift further south, to how Hummel _wasn't _a girl, and how weird it had been to feel a cock in his hand that wasn't his own, and the way Hummel's mouth had been open a little as he slept, and Finn was wondering what it might be like to kiss that mouth, to press his tongue past those pink lips and_ohgodmailmanmailmanmailman...!_

"_Shit_," Finn whispered to himself, bracing his hands on the sink of the guys' bathroom and staring dully into the mirror. That was the _third time today_ he'd gotten a boner from thinking about Hummel during class. Hummel would probably like that, knowing the quarterback was getting hard over _him_, the gay freak kid, and not over Quinn Fabray, the hottest cheerleader McKinley had ever produced. _Yeah_, he'd like that, if he came in the bathroom right now and saw Finn standing here with a tent in his pants. He'd probably blush, his whole face going red like it had when his dad accused Finn of being his boyfriend, but then he'd sidle toward Finn, and he'd lick his lips and ask in that girly voice of his _Need a hand with that?_ He wouldn't wait for Finn to answer, because Finn would _have _to answer 'no,' just to keep his reputation. Hummel'd just drop his bag and drop to his knees, those pale fingers going to Finn's fly, and he'd pull Finn's cock out and suck it into his mouth like he'd just _die _without it, those pretty pink lips stretched wide around Finn's girth, and _!_

The bathroom was making him think of Hummel. Because Puck would shove Hummel's head in the toilet in here. Yeah. That was it. Finn grit his teeth and forced himself to leave the sanctuary of the tiled walls. He wouldn't think of Hummel at all. He'd think of Quinn. She was totally hot, with her short Cheerios skirts and her boobs that he could look at but not touch (and only look at when covered by her Cheerios top) and her soft blonde hair, and yeah. Quinn was his girlfriend. And she was a really awesome kisser, even if she did have a tendency to pray too much when things were getting fun (Hummel wouldn't pray, probably, except maybe to gasp an _oh god_ as Finn pounded him into the mattress...).

Yeeeeeah... Finn was in trouble. Maybe his mom could let him stay home instead of moving in with the Hummels... or maybe he could crash on their couch or something. Yeah. Sharing a bed with Hummel again would not end well. Or maybe they had a guest room. Finn didn't know. Their house was big enough for another bedroom...

At least school was over for the day. Hummel was going to walk over to his dad's garage for work, like always, and Finn would hang out with Puck for a bit, and then Hummel's Jason person would take him home. That was how things were going to go, and they were going to go just fine. Bolstered by that thought, Finn went out to find Puck.

Except Puck had found Hummel.

Puck and Karofsky and Azimio were all up by the bleachers, Hummel trapped between them. They were shoving him around, blocking his attempts to escape with their arms, and pushing him hard enough for him to stumble back and forth, fighting just to stay on his feet. His fingers were clenched tightly around the strap of his bag, and even though he was glaring at the jocks, looking snooty and unimpressed, Finn suspected he was scared.

"Just let me go!"

"Nah..." Puck grabbed Hummel's bag strap, yanking forward as he shoved Hummel away. The smaller boy tripped over his own feet, releasing the bag in favor of staying upright, his arms windmilling for balance. "You missed our morning meeting, faggot. We can't let that slide." He swung around, whipping Hummel's bag out like it were some sort of frisbee, and even Finn winced as it hit one of the bleacher supports with a small crunch: something inside had broken. Hummel looked pale as Puck stepped toward him with a leer, shoving him back with two hands on his chest, right into Karofsky's chest. Before Hummel could twist away, though, Karofsky had grabbed his arms, twisting them behind his back. "Things are done a certain way around here for a _reason_. You can't go bucking the system like this. That makes _us _look bad."

"So just throw me in the dumpster now," Hummel said, lifting his chin and meeting Puck's gaze defiantly.

"Oh no," Puck purred, stepping close and putting his hands on Hummel's chest again. "Dumpster tosses are for when you're _behaving_. But you, Hummel, you've been a very naughty boy..."

"Heh..." Karofsky snickered behind Hummel, yanking on his arms again. "Maybe we should spank him."

As Finn came up on the group, he could see that Hummel's eyes were wide and frightened, and his skin was drained of all color, even though he was trying to keep his chin up and that defiance on his face. He was shaking, though, as Puck reached out to ruffle his hair in a way that was definitely not friendly. "Yeah, yeah, that could work, except I bet he'd like it, wouldn't you, you little homo? You'd _like _being tossed over our knees and spanked until your ass's all red and on fire? You'd probably get hard from that. Hell, you'd probably get _off_. We'd be doing you a _favor_."

"Stop it!" Kurt was looking this weird mix of terrified and snobby, and Finn couldn't keep quiet anymore. He stormed up, grabbing Kurt's arm and yanking him away from Karofsky, shoving the smaller boy behind him to get him out of the way. "Leave him alone!"

"What the hell, Finn?" Puck was staring at him like he'd just sprouted a second head. "You're sticking up for this freak?"

"Yeah," Finn said, feeling Kurt's hand lightly brush his back. "Yeah, I am."

Puck was frowning now, his eyes flicking between Kurt and Finn. "Are you two, like, an item now or something? You _dating _the fag?"

"No," Finn spat back. "I just know more about what's going on than you."

"Oh really?" Puck crossed his arms, lifting an eyebrow. "There's something 'going on'?"

"His mom's dead." Finn felt Kurt's fingers curl and withdraw from his back, but he continued on, even without Kurt's support. If anyone else would understand, it would be Puck. Puck's deadbeat dad wasn't _dead_, but he _was _gone. Puck understood loss. "And his dad was in an accident not too long ago. And that's all he's got. He's been trying to take care of his dad and the house and his dad's business all at the same time, _and _he comes to school and we beat him up... and that's just not right, Puck. Give 'im a break. What's he ever done to deserve any of this, anyway?"

"Turned _you _gay, apparently," Azimio said with an incredulous look. "Finn, dude, come _on_. The kid's gotta be put back in his place!"

"Yeah?" Finn folded his own arms, matching each glare with his own. "Well, his place is with me now. My mom's taking care of his dad, so I'm going to look out for him."

"_Really_, Hudson?" Puck glanced to Azimio, then to Karofsky, then back to Finn. "You're throwing in your lot with _Hummel_?"

"I am," Finn answered, holding his ground. "Because everyone needs someone. And right now, he's got _no one_."

Puck snorted, smirking over Finn's shoulder at Kurt. "That's just pathetic. Fine, Hudson. You want Hummel to be your pet, go right ahead. Just remember, all animals must be on a leash on school property." Laughing, he turned and headed back toward the school, taking Karofsky and Azimio with him.

Finn waited until they were too far away to turn and run back before he slowly turned around. Kurt was still standing there, still pale, still shaking. He had his arms curled around his stomach and his chin was practically touching his chest, it was hanging so low.

"Dude... you okay?"

"I didn't want them to know." Kurt's voice was hoarser than usual, thick and choked. Finn stepped forward, hesitating a moment before putting his hand on Kurt's shoulder, but the smaller boy jerked away. "I didn't want a_nyone _to know. I was _fine_. I was _handling_ it." His voice cracked, and this time, when Finn put his hand on Kurt's shoulder, Kurt cracked too, bending in just one spot at his waist until his head was pressed against Finn's chest and his shoulders were shaking worse than the rest of his body as he sucked in one gulping breath after another.

Finn closed his eyes, hesitating a second time before he eased his arms around Kurt's thin body. Kurt tensed for a moment, and then he was cracked all over, falling bonelessly against Finn, his hands pressed tightly over his face. Finn sank to his knees, rocking Kurt slowly, just waiting for the sobbing to start.

Kurt _didn't _sob, though. He shuddered and gasped, his fingers clutching at his head, knuckles turning white from the pressure, but no sound Finn could classify as a sob escaped his lips. When he eventually lifted his head, his eyes were red-rimmed and his lip was actually bleeding a little, swollen and puffy where he had bitten it, but his cheeks were dry. "I'm fine," he whispered.

It was because Kurt looked so lost and broken. That was it. Not because Finn was gay, because he _wasn't_. But it was because Kurt clearly _needed _someone to care. Yes. That was why Finn leaned forward, catching Kurt's cheek in one hand, pressing their mouths together, feeling Kurt's gasp with his lips as his eyes slid closed.

Kurt's skin was soft, softer than Quinn's, even, with no trace of stubble to scratch at Finn's fingers. And his mouth tasted of cherries and copper, and his hands were surprisingly strong on Finn's shoulders, shoving him back. Finn fell back on his butt as Kurt scrambled to his feet, the blood from his bitten lip smeared across his mouth, his eyes wide and horrified. Kurt said nothing, just turned and bolted surprisingly fast for such a little guy.

Finn groaned, his head dropping back. Stupid. _Stupid._ Kurt kept insisting he wasn't gay... what if he really _wasn't_? And Finn had just _kissed _him... Finn slammed his fist into the ground before climbing to his feet, dusting himself off. He licked his lips, tasting traces of Kurt's blood, and shook his head fiercely. No. He was Quinn's boyfriend. He wasn't going to go around kissing boys or thinking about kissing boys, even if those boys were only one boy, and if that one boy was only Kurt Hummel, and if they were now living together, apparently. He'd kissed him once, gotten it out of his system, and that would be enough.

With a sigh, Finn scooped up Kurt's forgotten bag, swinging the strap over his shoulder and trudging back to the parking lot. Kurt would... well, he'd call if he needed a ride. But he'd probably just call that Jason guy, anyway.


	4. Chapter 4

**FORGET YOU NOT**

* * *

.

"Where's Kurt?" was the first thing Finn's mom asked him when he stepped into the Hummel house that day.

"He works after school at his dad's garage," Finn said. "Jason works there too, so he'll give him a ride home after they close up." At least, that's what Finn hoped. He didn't actually have Kurt's phone number to call and make sure Kurt hadn't run in front of a bus or something like that. If Kurt wasn't home by dinner, maybe Burt could give him a call. Surely Burt had to have his son's number...

"Okay," Finn's mom was saying. "I've set up a bed for you in Kurt's room. He has a fold-out couch, so you two don't have to share. Burt told me where the fresh linens were, so it's all ready for you."

"Cool," Finn said. "Uh... where _is _his room?" And how big was it, if there was a _couch!_

"Basement," Finn's mom said, pointing toward a door. "There's a bathroom down there, too."

"Cool," Finn repeated, heading over to the basement door.

Before going downstairs, though, Finn hesitated. What was Kurt's bedroom going to be like? Kurt was all prissy and fancy... it was probably like Quinn's room, with light colors and gauzy stuff and _curtains_. Like a princess' room. And it was probably all stuff that would cost a fortune to replace if Finn so much as _looked _at it wrong.

"Something wrong?" Finn's mom asked, and he quickly shook his head.

"Nope, just thinking." Finn offered her a smile before he stepped down the stairs.

Kurt's room was _nothing _like Quinn's. It was all black and white and silver, with occasional splashes of red in a picture on the wall or something. Instead of a flowery wallpaper, Kurt had white cinderblock walls (except one wall which was paneled... but still white), with weird art pieces sticking out. There were lights everywhere, square lights on the walls, lamps like photographers used, lamps kinda like flowers, table lamps with square shades...

The only really _girly _thing in Kurt's room was a vanity pushed against one wall, with face creams and stuff (and a little makeup) spread across the top of it. Kurt's bed was tucked into the other corner, neatly made with pristine white sheets. There was a photo on the stand beside the bed, the only photo in the whole room. Finn picked it up, studying the woman in the picture. She was laughing, her blue eyes bright, and she had her arms around a little boy with matching eyes. Kurt and his mother, Finn realized. This was his equivalent of the photo Finn had of his dad holding him in his armchair.

Feeling like an intruder, Finn set the picture back, trying to make sure it was in the exact same place so Kurt wouldn't notice he had moved it. He backed away from Kurt's bed, moving instead to the couch-bed against another wall. It took up a lot of space, even in the big room, but when it was folded up, Kurt would have a lot of empty space. Everything else Kurt had, his desk and the open metal shelving, was shoved against walls. He had a really sweet stereo system, though, and a video camera in the corner.

"It's a nice room down here, isn't it?"

Finn turned around quickly to see his mom coming down the stairs, but she just smiled at him. "That door's the bathroom, that one's the laundry room, and that mirror is actually a door into his closet."

"His room is the size of our whole house."

"Pretty much." Finn's mom set a stack of towels down on Kurt's desk and turned to Finn with a smile. "I'm glad you're trying to help him, Finn. Burt's been telling me a lot about what's been going on. Things haven't been easy for them ever since Kurt's mom died..."

"Do you think he's gay?"

"Excuse me?"

"Hummel," Finn said. "Do you think he's gay? Because everyone at school does, but he says he's not..."

"Does it... does it _matter_?" Finn's mom asked, frowning at him. "Because this is the twenty-first century, Finn, and I didn't raise you to be a bigot..."

"No, it's just... it's only... he's so _weird_, Mom. And we aren't actually friends." Finn sat on the end of his bed, looking around the magazine-perfect room with a frown. "Until yesterday, actually, I never even had a conversation with him before."

"Then why did you offer to help?" Finn's mom sat beside Finn, looking over at him calmly.

Finn sighed, hanging his head. "I dunno. I just... Puck threw him in the dumpster yesterday. And then he didn't come out all day. So after school, I checked, and he was still there, and I just... I couldn't _leave _him, you know? That would've just been mean."

Finn's mom had a look like _And throwing him in in the first place wasn't?_ but she didn't say anything. She just kept watching Finn.

"So I brought him back here. And his dad was all weird. And I just..." Finn turned and wrapped his arms around his mother. She hugged him tight, rubbing his back. "His mom's _dead_, Mom. And his dad was in an accident, and I just thought... what if it was _you_? What if you were dead, or stopped remembering me, and I just... he needed help. I thought we could help him."

"I think we are helping him, Finn," his mom said softly. "I think what he really needs right now is a friend. And if even if you weren't his friend before, you're trying to be his friend now. And I'm not _his _mom, but I can be _a _mom, and any mom can see that boy is hurting." She sighed, kissing the top of Finn's head. "Just be his friend, Finn, whether or not he's gay. We'll get his dad walking again, and then... then we'll take things from there."

"All the guys at school are gonna give me hell for this," Finn said. "Hanging out with the gay freak."

"Finn Hudson!"

"No, that's what they say! It's what they call him!" Finn shook his head. "Puck and Azimio and Karofsky were all shoving him around after school today, and Puck was teasing me about dating him when I told them to knock it off."

Finn's mom sighed, cupping Finn's face in her hand. "Well, baby, you'll just have to decide if they're worth keeping as your friends, then. If they're going to be insulting for helping out a boy in need..."

"It's not that easy," Finn muttered.

"I know. High school never is. But Finn... it's just high school. Just four years, and then it's over, and you have the whole rest of your life to live, a _lot _more than four years." His mom hugged him again, petting his hair. "You have to decide, baby, if you're going to give in to your friends and push Kurt around, or if you're going to stand up for him."

"Why can't they just leave him alone?"

"Because people are mean. Especially to people who are different."

Finn took a deep breath and sighed. "Yeah. I guess."

"He needs you to be his friend, sweetie."

.

* * *

.

Kurt _did _come home on his own, just in time for dinner. He had a smudge of grease on his cheek and was dressed in dirty coveralls but otherwise looked normal, and he slipped off to wash up before joining the rest of them around the table. Burt and Finn's mom hit it off again, but Kurt just sat there morosely, picking at his food until he asked to be excused and vanished downstairs again.

After dinner, Finn left his mom to clean up and he went down into the basement, shoving his hands in his pocket. Kurt was standing by the shelves, clicking through his iPod. Finn cleared his throat, watching Kurt turn to him.

"So. You... uh... like music?"

Kurt nodded slowly, tucking his iPod back into the dock. "I like to sing," he said. "I've taken dance and piano lessons since I was three. I'm... pretty good, actually."

"I play the drums," Finn said. "And I guess I sing too, but only in the shower. I'm not _that _great at it. But I'm really good at the drums."

"I saw your set," Kurt said with a little smile. "Do you have a band?"

"No," Finn said, laughing. "Though, well, sometimes Puck brings over his guitar and we jam. But we're not a _band_... do you have one?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Finn. This is _me _we're talking about. After I quit Glee... no, no band. Just the millions of adoring fans in my head..."

"Oh yeah," Finn said, sitting on his bed with a grin. "Yeah, I know how that is. When I'm playing, it's like everyone in the world is just cheering me on."

Kurt's smile grew a little, and he pressed play on his iPod before moving to sit on his own bed. Finn recognized the song as one from Lady Gaga, but Kurt had the volume turned down low enough so it wasn't annoying.

"So, uh... what's Glee?"

"Show choir," Kurt answered, crossing his legs. "McKinley's Glee Club used to be on top of the show choir world, much like the Cheerios, but in the past ten years or so, everything's just fallen apart."

"But if you like to sing and dance, why'd you quit?"

Kurt's smile soured, and he clenched his fingers around his ankles. "Mr. Ryerson's the coach."

"That creepy music teacher?"

Kurt nodded. "I... didn't feel comfortable being in the same room as him. So I decided to quit after the second practice. Rachel Berry swore she'd never forgive me."

"Rachel's a freak," Finn said. He knew who Rachel Berry was. Everyone did, same way everyone knew who Kurt Hummel was. It was a weird sort of anti-popularity. Everyone knew who Finn Hudson and Quinn Fabray were, what they wore, and what (and who) they were doing... and everyone knew who Kurt Hummel and Rachel Berry were, what they wore, and what (and lack of who) they were doing. Only while people talked about Finn and Quinn with excitement and longing, they talked about Kurt and Rachel with revulsion and wicked mirth.

"Couldn't agree more," Kurt murmured. "Being around her makes me feel normal."

"Why wouldn't you feel normal all the time?" Finn asked, trying for a light-hearted tone. "I mean, if you're not gay..."

Kurt looked sharply over at Finn, and Finn watched his eyes fall to Finn's mouth before he actually blushed a little and looked away. "I... it's hard to feel normal when you start each day with a dumpster dive, or have to keep three changes of clothes with you at school in the event of a slushie facial. My _assumed _homosexuality has nothing to do with how I feel about myself..."

"But it's not assumed."

"It's never been _confirmed_," Kurt retorted, glancing back at Finn. "Up until today, I've never even so much as _looked _at a guy wrong to 'prove my gay,' and I hardly think my only kiss with a guy should count if it was _forced _upon me!"

"I didn't force you!" Finn snapped back. "You wanted it!"

"Like hell I did!" Kurt pushed himself to his feet, his hands balled into fists. "You just _assumed _that because you're Finn Hudson, everyone's gagging to get in your pants!"

"I've seen how you look at me!" Finn leapt to his feet as well, towering over Kurt. "You _did _want it!"

"Not like that!" Kurt snapped his mouth shut, a flush of color over his pale cheeks. "I didn't want... _that_..."

"Why don't you just-"

"Boys!" Finn's mom was halfway down the stairs before she had even finished that one word. "_What _is going on here!"

Kurt shut his mouth and glanced over at Finn, clearly letting him take the lead. Finn looked away from him, feeling a prickle of shame as he looked at his mom. "Nothing, Mom. Sorry. We were just... school stuff." Kurt was looking at Finn like he was an idiot, and Finn just shuffled his feet a little. "Talking about, um, Glee. Kurt's a singer. I'm not. But he thinks I should... only I don't want to."

"Kurt?" Finn's mother turned to Kurt to confirm this, and Finn looked pointedly at the smaller boy. _Back me up, here!_

"Uh..." Kurt still was giving Finn a look that told him quite plainly how unimpressed Kurt was by the lie, but he nodded. "Yes. You see, Mr. Ryerson—he's in charge of Glee—thinks we need more male voices. It's just Hank and... me, right now, and... um... if Finn is even a halfway-decent singer, he could only help the club..."

"But I don't sing," Finn said, nodding emphatically.

"Of course you do," Finn's mom said. "You sing in the shower all the time."

"Shower singing doesn't count!"

"You sang with Darren," Finn's mom reminded him. "He said you had a great voice. And you do. Maybe you should consider joining this Glee Club and support Kurt..."

"I really don't-"

"He doesn't have to-" Kurt and Finn spoke at the same time, and after a glance, Finn nodded, letting Kurt speak first. Kurt seemed to be better at this whole lying thing, and Finn's mom didn't know him well enough to see through any falsehoods immediately like she could with Finn. "I'm thinking about dropping Glee anyway. Mr. Ryerson focuses all his attention on Hank and Rachel, and really." He gave a shrug, looking bored. "It's not where I want to be at this point in my life."

"Oh Kurt. If you enjoy singing-"

"I _do_ enjoy singing," Kurt said. "I just don't enjoy Glee. I thought maybe if Finn joined, it could be better, but if he doesn't want to, then forcing him there would only make things worse." He shrugged again. "It's okay, Mrs. Hudson. Sorry, Finn, for forcing the point."

"No, it's..." Finn squirmed a little, glancing over at Kurt. Once again, Kurt was the one to bend, apologizing for the situation even though Finn had started poking at his sexuality first. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have... sorry. Just... I'm sorry."

Kurt glanced up at Finn and gave him a little smile, seeming to understand that Finn was apologizing for more than the fake Glee fight.

Finn's mom eyed each boy for several minutes before sighing and turning back to the stairs. "Just don't kill each other down here, boys. I'd have a hard time explaining that."

"I really am sorry," Finn said, after his mom had left the room. "I just keep shooting off my mouth."

"I... accept your apology," Kurt answered, sinking back to his bed. "Thank you. You know... you're the first person who's ever apologized for upsetting me. I'm not used to it."

"No one's _ever _apologized to you before?"

Kurt shook his head slowly, eyes on his bedspread. "Maybe my parents... but I don't really remember those times. They never really upset me..."

"Until now?" Kurt gave a small nod, closing his eyes. Finn fidgeted, taking a step closer to Kurt. "I... I'm sorry for... for kissing you, too." That caught Kurt's attention, his pale eyes open and fixed on Finn again, a small frown tugging at his lips. Finn glanced at his mouth, wondering if it still tasted like cherries. "I shouldn't... I don't know why I did that. I'm not gay."

"One _could_ argue," Kurt said softly, "that because _you _kissed _me_, that makes _you _the gay one of us..."

"But I'm not!" Finn insisted, waving his hands. "That was just a... a one-time thing, because you looked so upset, and..."

"Relax, Finn," Kurt said, shaking his head. "I'm not going to tell anyone about your little lapse in judgment. And even if I did, our respective status levels means that when I say 'Finn Hudson kissed me,' all anyone would hear is 'Kurt Hummel tried to ass-rape Finn Hudson.' I wouldn't do that to myself, much less you..."

"It wouldn't be like that..."

"It would be exactly like that," Kurt sighed. "I guarantee, tomorrow, I'll be getting chewed out for attempting to corrupt you and you'll probably have, mm, Quinn, at least, checking to make sure you aren't gay. Who knows, she might let you into her skirt just to make extra-sure that you're still 100% straight boyfriend material. And that'll just be because you defended me against Puck, Karofsky, and Azimio. Who knows what sort of fallout there'd be if anyone actually witnessed that disaster of a kiss..."


	5. Chapter 5

**FORGET YOU NOT**

* * *

.

The next morning, Finn took Kurt all the way in to school, partially to make up for the awkwardness of the night before and partially because it didn't really matter now. Puck had seen him come to Kurt's defense under the bleachers, so probably the whole school knew by now.

Kurt had accepted Finn's rationalization, but by the time they pulled into the parking lot, he was clutching at the strap of his bag (it had been a mirror that broke yesterday, but Kurt had fished out the shards and replaced it with a new one with a calmness that implied it wasn't the first time this had happened). His mouth was set in a thin, straight line, and he stared unblinkingly ahead of him.

"Dude, you're gonna be fine," Finn said, turning off the engine and shoving his keys in his pocket.

"You saw what happened yesterday when I bucked social convention in favor of not being thrown out just once," Kurt answered, his voice thin. "How much worse will it be today, now that they had time to prepare?"

"They're not gonna hurt you," Finn said, shaking his head. "Or I'll hurt them. I'm still on top of the school..."

"Not for long. Not if you insist on giving me rides." Kurt closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before pushing the door open. "Thank you for the ride," he said curtly, before heading toward the school.

Finn sighed, climbing out of the car and trailing behind Kurt. As they passed by the dumpsters, Puck scoffed in his direction. "No leash, Hudson? Strike one!" Finn watched Kurt straighten his back just that much further, his head barely angling toward the jocks, a pinched, superior look on his face before he kept on walking. None of them moved after him, though, and Finn had to smile to himself. Yeah. Kurt was safe now.

"FINN!" Or maybe not. Finn winced at the venom in Quinn's voice as she dug her nails into his arm. "What the hell are you thinking?" she hissed, dragging him down the hall. Finn spared a glance in Kurt's direction, but aside from a raised eyebrow and a pointed _Told you so_ expression, Kurt said nothing, just walked off toward his own locker.

"Uh... thinking about what?" Finn asked as Quinn shoved him against the wall, her petite form vibrating with pent-up rage.

"You are associating with that, that _thing_!" she spat. "You gave it a _ride to school!_ Jewfro saw it climbing out of your car this morning and already put it up on his blog! The whole _school _is talking about this, Finn! You and that freak!"

"Hey!" Finn protested. "Kurt's pretty cool, actually, okay? So just... lay off him, Quinn."

"And now you're _defending _it!" Quinn looked really pretty when she was pissed off. Her face flushed a bit like Kurt's did, and her ponytail bounced with every bob of her head, and she had her hands on her hips and with every heavy breath she took, her boobs rose and fell beneath the Cheerios uniform. Yeah. Quinn was really pretty, and curvy, unlike Kurt, who was just straight and hard. Except when they were alone. Yeah. When they were alone, Kurt just melted, and he became soft and sad, with big eyes and a mouth that tasted of cherries...

"Finn!" Quinn looked both directions down the hall before pressing up close to Finn, her hands sliding up his arms. "Look, Finn, I think it's great that you want to help the less fortunate. That's a very good, moral trait to have. But there's helping the less fortunate and then there's committing social suicide. If you really want to be a positive force for change, we can... go volunteer at the animal shelter or something. That's Coach Sylvester approved. And then there, see, you can help unfortunate creatures, and we can still be on track for prom queen and king, homecoming royalty, the most popular couple at this school for all four years..." She trailed off, taking his hands and putting them on her hips. "Isn't that what you _want_, Finn? _Me_? For _four _years?" She smiled, cocking her head to the side, pressing her boobs up against Finn's chest...

"Quinn... _yeah_." Finn smiled at her, letting his hands slide around a little, hesitantly stroking over her butt... _and she let him_. _Mailmanmailmanmailman_... "Yeah, I want that. You, and prom king, and... yeah. But Kurt-"

"_No_, Finn!" Quinn practically wailed his name, shaking her head and making her ponytail dance. "Finn, if you so much as _think _its name again, everyone's going to call you gay. And if you're gay, that makes me your beard. Your big, gay beard. And then what sort of reputation will _either _of us have! We're only freshmen right now, Finn. We don't have the longevity to pull off this kind of social upheaval."

"But-"

"How about this," Quinn said, reaching up to put her finger over Finn's lips. "If you stop associating with it now, when we're seniors and _completely _untouchable, you can befriend it, okay? If you still want to. But not before." She reached down, taking Finn's wrists in her small hands and squeezing gently but firmly. "Do this for me, Finn, and I'll make sure you don't regret it..." With one more flirtatious smile, she pulled his hands off her butt and started to walk off, her hips swaying and making Finn stare after her with a stupid look on his face.

He was the _luckiest _guy at this school. Or so he thought, until after Spanish. Quinn slipped out of the room just behind Kurt, reaching out to grab his wrist. Finn frowned, staying back, wondering what she was going to do.

Kurt looked startled, trying to pull away from Quinn, a confused little frown on his face. "May I help you?"

"Stay away from Finn," she hissed. Kurt winced, and Finn saw that she was digging her sharp nails into his wrist (Coach Sylvester wanted her Cheerios to always be armed, Quinn had explained, when Finn had complained about them the first time). "That boy is _mine_. And he is _not _gay!"

"I'm not going after Finn," Kurt replied levelly, trying to use his other hand to pry her nails out of his skin. "He's helping me out with something at home. That's it. I wouldn't _dream _of trying to take him from you-"

"You'd better not." Quinn yanked Kurt's wrist up, and his mouth twisted in a frown. "You keep your diseased hands to yourself. I have worked _too hard _to have some freak like yourself step in and ruin things for me. And if you don't?" Quinn leaned in close, her voice dangerously quiet. "I will make sure you regret it for the rest of your life."

Kurt's expression went completely flat. "Are we done here? Because I'm finding the idea that you see me as a threat rather laughable."

Quinn scowled, pushing Kurt away from her as she released his wrist before stalking down the hall. Kurt stumbled a couple steps before recovering his balance, rubbing his wrist.

"Did she draw blood?" Finn asked quietly, coming up behind Kurt. Kurt jumped a little, looking sharply up at Finn.

"No, just left marks..."

"You okay?"

Kurt frowned, dropping his wrist and adjusting his bag on his shoulder. "Don't, Finn. Just don't. We're not meant to be friends. Not meant to associate with each other. I think your girlfriend made that very clear."

"But that's bullshit!"

"Is it?" Kurt asked softly, looking up at Finn. "Am I worth losing all your friends? Sinking to the bottom of the social heap? Because that's what will happen if you continue to talk to me." He inclined his head to the side, giving a subtle nod down the hall. Finn followed the direction of the nod, scowling when he saw Jacob ben Israel furiously whispering into his recorder, trying to inch closer to them. "Thank you again for the ride this morning, Finn, but I think, while our parents are together, that needs to be the extent of our contact at school."

Finn couldn't think of words fast enough, and Kurt slipped away from him, moving easily through the hall. Like Quinn, when he walked, people stepped aside. But unlike Quinn, they stepped aside with sideways glances at the smaller boy, little smirks and snickers on their faces. _Don't catch the gay._ Finn knew that was what they were all thinking, because he used to think that too. But Finn had shared a bed with Kurt. If gay was contagious, he already had it.

Was that why he felt sad watching Kurt leave?


	6. Chapter 6

**FORGET YOU NOT**

* * *

.

After school, Kurt disappeared, and Finn checked every place Puck usually beat up dweebs to make sure he hadn't cornered Kurt again before heading home himself. Just like the day before, Kurt showed up right before dinner and washed the grease from his skin before joining them. And just like the day before, Kurt didn't participate much in the conversation, excusing himself quickly and slipping off to his room. He barely even glanced up when Finn came in, and Finn's attempts to get him talking were thwarted by soft comments of "I'm trying to do my homework." And he was, too. Finn looked over his shoulder and recognized the writing in front of him as Spanish. He couldn't read it, but he knew what Spanish looked like.

Kurt managed to keep himself busy all the way through eleven at night, and then he got ready for bed without anything more than a "Good night" to Finn.

"Night," Finn mumbled, climbing into bed himself.

By midnight, though, he had decided that he wasn't sleepy in the least. An hour of tossing and turning could do that to him. The light from the moon and the streetlights shone through the basement windows and reflected off of Kurt's white walls, so it was bright enough to see by. Finn rolled onto his side and looked over at his roommate.

Kurt was curled up in a little ball in his bed; his blankets were tucked in tight around his neck and held firmly in place. Finn sighed, wishing he could sleep like Kurt was. Even as he thought that, though, Kurt gave a little whimper, his forehead crinkling, mouth drawing tighter. Finn propped himself up on one arm, watching, but Kurt didn't move again. He really _was _fast asleep.

Finn pushed his blankets back and climbed out of his bed, crossing the room to crouch down beside Kurt. He barely knew this boy… but he was fascinated by him. "I'm not gay," Finn murmured to Kurt's sleeping face. He reached out, using his thumb to smooth the lines in Kurt's forehead. "I think _you're _the gay one." Finn liked Quinn, after all. He liked her boobs and her butt, and her long blonde hair and her short skirts. He was absolutely not obsessed with Kurt Hummel's perky nose, or those pale eyes that could burn or freeze or well up with tears, or the way Kurt looked when he blushed, or his soft, soft brown hair, always so perfect at school, except for those few moments when Kurt was dripping from a slushie or swirly.

His hair was perfect right now, Finn mused, or nearly perfect. Sleeping had left it a little mussed up, but not much. Finn reached out, stroking his fingers over Kurt's hair. It was soft and thick, and because Kurt didn't wear his hair tied back in a tight ponytail, Finn could actually push his hand into it, fingers curling around the curve of Kurt's head. The smaller boy stirred a little, the blankets loosening minutely, and he murmured wordlessly, smacking his lips before settling down again. That action, though, was enough to draw Finn's attention to Kurt's mouth. He had kissed that mouth. Did that make him gay? Kurt was male (_very _male, as Finn had already confirmed), and Finn was male, and so… two dudes kissing were gay. But two girls kissing were just hot. No. It wasn't the kiss that made him gay. It was the _wanting _to kiss. And Finn didn't want to kiss Kurt's lips, which were soft and warm under his fingers, parting a little further as he stroked them gently. Just because they looked like a girl's and tasted like cherries did not mean Finn was attracted to Kurt. Because he wasn't. It was definitely the other boy who was attracted to _him_. Why else would Kurt be kissing his fingers?

Oh god. Kurt was _kissing his fingers_. Because Finn was _touching his mouth_. When had that happened! He had just been petting Kurt's hair, and then…

Oh god. He had been _petting Kurt's hair_. Kurt was still asleep, his breathing slow and even, but as Finn's fingers continued to circle around his lips he was responding, pursing his lips and pressing kisses to Finn's fingertips.

Finn sucked in a breath, pulling his hand away from Kurt's mouth. Without Finn's fingers to press against, Kurt kissed the air, and Finn could only stare at those pink lips. He saw the very moment still-sleeping Kurt realized he was alone, a little frown pulling his mouth down, and a murmured, almost-silent "Finn…?" slipping out.

"I'm not gay," Finn whispered, watching Kurt wiggle a little closer toward him, his confusion evident even in his sleep. "I'm not gay, I'm not gay, I'm not gay…"

Finn _wanted _to kiss Kurt. He could see Kurt's fingers flexing around the blankets he held, could see the little movements of his head as he tried to find where his dream-partner had disappeared to. And he had to have been dreaming about Finn. Why else would he have whispered Finn's name?

"I…" Finn couldn't seem to control his hands tonight as he reached out, running his hand softly down Kurt's side. The smaller boy murmured again, his tight curl loosening as he turned into Finn's caress. "Maybe…" He was leaning in close, staring at Kurt's pale face illuminated by the moonlight. "I…"

Kurt's mouth didn't taste of cherries anymore. It tasted of mint now, mint and warmth and Kurt really was a crappy kisser when he was fast asleep. He mostly just laid there and let Finn do the work, his tongue unable to resist the temptation that was Kurt's open lips.

Finn closed his hand around Kurt's hip, feeling the hard jut of bone even through the blankets, and Kurt moaned into Finn's mouth, rocking up under his hand. Finn gasped, pulling back as if burned. "Kurt…!"

Kurt just gave another moan, stretching out further on his bed, his body undulating slowly beneath the blankets. Finn backed away, retreating to the safety of his own bed. He would just… yes. Close his eyes and pretend to sleep. Yes. Just in case Kurt woke up. Because Kurt was definitely having a vivid dream now, of the sort Finn could certainly relate to.

Except Finn didn't want to close his eyes, even as he crept beneath his own covers. He watched Kurt moving on his own bed, his hips giving little jerks under the blankets.

As shows went, the Cheerios were more suggestive in their routines. Kurt's blankets concealed almost his entire body, and he wasn't really moving _that _much. But as Finn watched the ecstasy washing over Kurt's features, the way he gasped and panted, his mouth stretching wider, he thought that he had never seen anything hotter. And those _noises_. Kurt made breathy little whimpers with each jerk of his hips, hitching _uhn, uhn, uhn_s that shot straight to Finn's groin. He was so hard already, and he had only kissed Kurt _once_.

"I am so fucked," Finn whispered, working his hand into his pants. If being gay was all about the _wanting_, then Finn was completely flaming. Because right now, he was trying to think of Quinn and her hips and her boobs and her smile, but all he could think of was Kurt, Kurt and the little sounds he was making, and the way his lips felt beneath Finn's, how his body had felt tucked up against Finn's chest, the weight of his cock in Finn's hand…

Finn groaned softly, squeezing his eyes shut and burying his face in his pillow as he came, for once grateful for his complete lack of stamina. Kurt was gasping out his name again, one sharp breath, and then Finn heard his blankets rustling and his bed creak.

"Finn?"

The whisper was soft and nervous, but it was a deliberate whisper. Kurt was awake now. Finn clenched his eyes as tightly shut as he could, keeping his face pressed in his pillow and fighting to keep his breathing even. _I'm asleep, sleepy sleepy sleepy..._

As Finn listened, Kurt pushed his covers back, his bed giving another quiet creak as he set his feet on the floor. Bare footsteps padded quietly to Finn's side, and Finn could feel Kurt's presence in the way his arms prickled. He didn't react, though, didn't give any indication that he was just as awake as Kurt was.

"Finn?" Another quiet, hesitant whisper. Finn could _feel _Kurt lift his arm, and he knew the other boy's hand was hovering over his head. _What is he doing?_

Kurt took a deep breath beside Finn, and then his fingers were on Finn's head, brushing lightly over his hair. Finn could feel the fine tremors shaking Kurt's hand and he forced himself to keep breathing steadily, just like before, in and out, so Kurt wouldn't cotton on.

The caress lasted only a few seconds before Kurt snatched his hand back. Finn could hear him step back quickly, pause, and then rush off toward the bathroom. Once that door clicked shut, Finn risked opening his eyes.

Kurt _did _like him. He could deny it all he wanted while he was awake, but when Kurt was asleep, he dreamed about Finn. About Finn doing things to him. Gay things. Things that made him hard and made him moan. Things like kissing him, probably, and touching him, and... and _sex_. Finn didn't know much about gay sex, except one guy stuck his dick up the other guy's ass. Finn frowned, clenching his own ass and wondering just how, exactly, that was supposed to work.

Well... if Kurt wanted Finn to have sex with him, Kurt had better be the one taking it up the ass. Because there was being gay by jerking off to another guy having a wet dream, and then there was being _gay _by begging that guy to fuck you up the ass. Finn was the first, but he was _not _the second. Not at all.

The toilet flushed and then the sink was turned on, and Finn quickly closed his eyes and tried to even his breathing again. A few moments later, the bathroom door opened and Finn tracked the sounds of Kurt's footsteps as the other boy quietly made his way to his closet and then to his bed. He didn't dare lift his head, though, as Kurt settled down once more. What if he was still awake? What if he was watching Finn? What if he was...


	7. Chapter 7

**FORGET YOU NOT**

* * *

.

Kurt avoided Finn for the whole day, and Finn avoided Kurt. That seemed to work well enough, until Finn realized that when Kurt came home from the garage, he was wearing a different colored shirt than what he'd had on that morning. Wardrobe changes were a tell-tale sign of a slushie. Finn sighed to himself and looked over at Kurt. "Hey, I'm gonna go to Puck's for dinner, okay?"

Kurt glanced up from his vanity (he was rubbing some cream into his face), raising an eyebrow. "And you're telling me this _why_?"

"Just... so you know," Finn said with a shrug. "Yeah. Okay. I'm going now..."

Puck's little sister opened the door and ran off with a squeal once she saw who it was, but Finn wasn't surprised by that. She'd had a crush on him for years. Puck even knew that when Sarah squealed, that meant Finn was at the door, and sure enough, he came out from his room to greet Finn with a nod. "I tried telling her you're gay now, but she doesn't believe me."

"Dude, I'm not gay," Finn huffed, refusing to even _think _about last night. Because if he thought about it, Puck would read his mind and _know_.

"You're hanging out with Hummel," Puck pointed out. "_Living _with him now, from what Quinn says. That is _totally _gay."

Finn made an exasperated noise, running his hand through his hair. "Okay. Look. I need to tell you what's going on, because I need you on my side with this, Puck. We're bros, right? Best friends since preschool? Just hear me out."

Puck crossed his arms, eying Finn warily before giving a roll of his eyes and jerking his head toward his bedroom. "Fine. But if you came over to come out, I'm kicking you out."

"I'm not," Finn said, heading into Puck's room and flopping into his usual spot sprawled across the foot of Puck's bed. Puck sat up by the headboard, tucking a pillow behind his back and his hands behind his head.

"So, what's the deal?"

"He didn't climb out of the dumpster." Finn rubbed his hands over his face. "That's how it works, you know? I hold his coat, you throw him in, then you leave, he pops out, I give him back his coat, and everything's good, right? Well, couple days ago, he didn't come out."

"And now you're gay."

Finn glared at Puck. "And so I gave him his coat back and went inside. But by the end of the day, he _still _hadn't come out. I went and checked. He was all curled up in one corner of the trash, and he was turning blue, and... and Puck, that's just _wrong_. I mean, he's only a little younger than us, right? So I was a nice guy and gave him a ride home. He's got a _really _nice house."

"I know," Puck said. "I climbed all over it." He smirked, but Finn didn't return the expression.

"He offered me a sandwich, and so I went in, and I met his dad, and..." Finn shook his head. "He's like that guy from English class. Dr. Hide and Mr. Jekyll?" Puck nodded slowly, frowning again. "When he's with my mom or me, Mr. Hummel's _awesome_. He knows all kinds of stuff about cars and sports and he's given me some football tips and stuff. And he makes my mom laugh—she's really happy around him." That earned another nod from Puck, because Puck understood how important it was to make your mom happy. That was why Puck watched _Schindler's List _every year and let his mom wash his hair. "But then when Kurt shows up, he gets all... cold. Like... kinda like us. He's just really, really mean to Kurt, and it... it's like how your dad was."

Puck growled, sitting up straighter. "We don't talk about my dad, Hudson!"

"I know!" Finn said. "I know, and I know _why_, and I'm trying to tell you, that's what his dad is like! Because he had this accident so now he doesn't remember Kurt at all, and Kurt swears he used to be an awesome dad until then, and now he's just _mean, _but only to Kurt. Only Kurt doesn't have an awesome mom like you do. Cause his mom's dead. His mom's dead and his dad hates him and it's been like that for a _month_, Puck. But his dad's leg is all busted, and so Kurt has to take care of him, and he can't leave. But he loves his dad. He loves his dad like we love our moms. And... can you just imagine if your mom suddenly hated you? Or if Sarah did?"

"What are you trying to get at?" Puck asked, folding his arms again. "We gotta sing Kumbaya with him or something?"

"We gotta stop throwing him in the dumpster," Finn said. "Or throwing him into lockers. Or throwing slushies at him. Or stuffing his head or his bag into the toilet."

"We gotta be gay."

"No..." Finn groaned, pressing his hands to his face. "Look, I'm not saying you have to _like _him, Puck. I'm just asking you not to hate him. Because his life is crap right now, and he's... he's actually not. Did you know he works at a garage after school? Yeah, he can fix cars. He's been doing that for years. And he's a _really _good singer... if we ever formed a band, you know, maybe we should ask him to join, because he's _that good_. And he's got this huge fifty-five inch big screen in his living room that Mr. Hummel watches games on and can you just _imagine _if we could have a party there?"

"I am not forming a band with Hummel."

Finn waved his hands. "Missing my point! Just... he's actually pretty cool, for a dweeb. So maybe we could, you know, _stop _throwing him out? He doesn't have to be our new best friend, just... we need to stop hurting him. Because that's what we've been doing, Puck. We hurt him."

Puck was silent for a while, staring at Finn. "He totally made you gay."

"I dunno." Finn pressed his hands over his face again. "I have _no idea_."

"What, _seriously_?" Puck nudged Finn with his foot. "You fancy dudes now!"

"No! I don't! Definitely not! I just... I like Quinn, okay?"

"And Hummel."

"Maybe," Finn admitted reluctantly. "I mean, we have to share a room at night, right? And when he's asleep, he looks totally like a girl."

Puck raised an eyebrow, and Finn scrubbed his face with his hands. "Argh! I don't know, Puck, okay? I really don't. I kissed him."

"Gay."

"He ran away."

"Gay and pathetic," Puck snickered. "Dude, how did you _ever _bag Quinn Fabray if you chase away even the gay kid?"

"Technically, I haven't bagged her," Finn grumbled. "Unlike Santana Lopez, she takes that whole celibacy club thing _very _seriously..."

"Ahhh..." Puck nodded knowingly. "So you're just horny. Quinnie's not putting out, and you happen to have the lonely and 'girly-when-he's-asleep' Hummel in your room, so it's a convenience thing."

"Really?" Finn rolled onto his side to look at Puck. "So I'm not gay?"

"Nope." Puck grinned at Finn. "You're just desperate. Happens in prison, too. No chicks, so they turn to other guys."

"But I'm not in prison..."

"Yeah you are," Puck said. "You're dating Quinn Fabray. If you so much as _look _at another girl, she'll know, and she'll throw a fit, and she'll dump you. So other girls are out. Course, if you look at another guy, she'll do the same, only worse. But since you're _living _with Hummel, she can't see if you hop into his bed and do the nasty with him."

"And that doesn't make me gay?"

"Nope. Not as long as you're the one doing the fucking, and you're only doing it until Quinn puts out."

Finn flopped back on the bed, breathing out a sigh of relief. "So I'm not gay. Just horny."

"Yeah. But dude, keep it to yourself, okay? I don't wanna hear about you fucking Hummel up the ass."

"Thanks, man. I owe you one."

.

* * *

.

Finn couldn't even talk to Kurt that night. By the time he got home, Kurt was in bed, curled up in a ball under his blankets again, but this time, his back was to Finn's bed. Finn watched him sleep a little before closing his eyes and falling asleep himself. The next day, Kurt barely said two words to anyone until just before they were heading out the door to go to school. Finn stared at him as he went up to his dad and wrapped his arms around him in a hug, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I love you, Dad," he murmured.

"Yeah, yeah... just get to school," Burt grumbled, pulling Kurt's arms free and giving him a little push away.

Kurt nodded, looking about ready to burst into tears. Finn frowned as he ushered Kurt out to his car. "Everything okay?"

"It's fine," Kurt said, his voice barely audible. "I'm fine."

"Bullshit."

"It's nothing you can fix," Kurt said, twisting to stare out the window. "My dad doesn't remember me. He might never remember me again. Some days, that hurts more than others."

"Yeah, well..." Finn reached over, patting Kurt's arm. "I'm sure, with time, when he gets to know you again, he'll like you. Because you're pretty cool, Kurt."

"I'm a loser," Kurt answered. "That's all I'll ever be."

Finn sighed, returning his hand to the wheel. What was he supposed to say to that?

At school, to Finn's surprise, Puck _wasn't _at the dumpsters. Karofsky and Azimio were, though, and they were snickering at Kurt and Finn as they walked past. "Strike three, Hudson! You're out!"

But they didn't make any move toward either boy, and Kurt flinched a little at the words but kept walking, so Finn ignored them and went inside.

This time, Puck was waiting at his locker instead of Quinn, hands stuffed in his pockets and looking bored. "So, what am I supposed to do if I'm not slushying Hummel?"

"I dunno," Finn answered. "Slushie Jewfro?"

Puck grinned wickedly at Finn. "I like how you think, bro."

Kurt was in Finn's second period Spanish class, and Finn was pleased to see he was still wearing his clothes from this morning. Mr. Schuester singled him out at the start of class, though, giving him a grin. "¡Feliz cumpleaños, Currito!"

Kurt looked up, startled, but offered the teacher a quick smile and a murmured, "Gracias," before ducking his head back to his book. Finn frowned. Currito was Kurt's name in Spanish class (Finn's was Fernando, which made him feel bad-ass), but what was the rest of that sentence? Kurt said "Thank you," but that was all Finn caught of the exchange.

"¿Cuántos años tienes?" Mr. Schuester wasn't done yet, even though Kurt was looking like he just wanted to be left alone.

"Ah... tengo dieciseis años."

"¡Muy bien! Ahora, ustedes necesitan ir a la página 122..."

That meant open your books. Finn craned his neck forward to see what page they were supposed to be on, and Quinn eased her book over so he could read the number. Over to the side, Kurt hunkered down in his chair, trying to ignore the few people who were glancing his way.


	8. Chapter 8

**FORGET YOU NOT**

* * *

.

Finn had football practice after school, so he thought nothing of it when he didn't see Kurt leave. It was a little strange when Karofsky tugged Puck aside and then both of them disappeared, but he didn't get worried until he returned to the locker room after practice and found his phone sporting missed calls from his mom. He frowned, flipping it open and dialing voicemail, listening to his mom's voice.

"Hi, sweetie, it's your mother. I know you're at football practice, but Burt's mechanic, Jason, was calling here and asking if Kurt came home. He hasn't shown up at the garage yet, apparently... but he's not here, either. Is he with you, or staying at school for some other reason? Please give me a call when you get this message, let me know."

Finn changed clothes quickly, not bothering with a shower, and slipped out of the locker room before calling his mom. "Hey, Mom?"

"Finn! Is Kurt with you?"

"No... I haven't seen him since school ended. He's still not home?" _Strike three, Hudson_, Karofsky had called to him this morning. _You're out!_ Had he done something to Kurt?

"No... and he's not at the garage, either, nor is he answering his phone. Finn, I'm worried..."

"I'm sure he's around somewhere," Finn said. "I'll take a look around here before going home, okay?"

"Thank you, sweetie. I love you."

"Yeah... love you too, Mom." Finn hung up slowly, a knot of dread slowly uncoiling in his chest. Surely Kurt would at least be answering his phone if he was all right. But he remembered the last time Karofsky and Azimio got their hands on Kurt, with Puck's help, shoving him around in a circle, holding him in place, throwing his bag away...

Bleachers. After school, they usually dragged victims under the bleachers, where it was harder to see them. And Azimio hadn't been at practice at all. Finn started out slowly, but he broke into a jog, trying to look nonchalant. When he saw figures under the metal stands, he started to run.

Puck had Kurt. Karofsky and Azimio were standing, laughing, but Puck was down on one knee, still in his football gear, with Kurt bent over his knee. He had been saying something to Kurt, his hand sliding over the smaller boy's ass, but he shut his mouth when Finn ran up, shoving to his feet and letting Kurt tumble to the ground.

Kurt's mouth was covered with a strip of duct tape, and there was a red nylon dog collar around his throat, a leash pooled behind him. From the way he was lying, his hands were somehow stuck behind his back, and his eyes were wide and blank, staring unblinkingly up at the bleachers. Finn looked at him for a moment before he saw red, launching himself at Puck. "WHAT THE HELL!"

Puck took a glancing blow to the side of his face before he was able to scramble out of the way of Finn's fury. Karofsky and Azimio were already backing up.

"Dude, it was just a bit of fun," the hockey player said.

"We didn't hurt him," Puck added, holding his hands up defensively. "Chill out, Finn. Look, he's all wrapped up nicely for you. Just enjoy your present, okay?"

Azimio snickered, and Puck smacked him on the chest. "C'mon, guys. Let's let Finn have some fun with his prettyboy..." He led Karofsky and Azimio away from the bleachers.

Finn _wanted _to follow, wanted to go roaring after them and smash their faces into bloody pulps, but a soft sound behind him stilled his feet. Turning slowly, Finn saw Kurt had shifted, that blank stare now directed at him.

Kurt gave another soft whine, his jaw working as he tried to open his mouth beneath the duct tape. Finn dropped to his knees beside the smaller boy, reaching out to grab a corner of the tape and yank it away. "You're gonna be okay," he said. "I'll get you out of this, get you home..."

Kurt screamed as his mouth was freed, a red rectangle of irritated skin around his lips. He pressed his mouth closed, scrunching up his face in pain. "Sorry," Finn whispered, rolling Kurt onto his side to free his hands. His wrists were all wrapped up in duct tape too, which Finn immediately began working loose. "Sorry, I'm sorry..."

As soon as Kurt's wrists were free (with more pained cries as the tape was ripped off his skin), Kurt's hands flew to his neck, shaking fingers yanking the collar free and flinging it away from him. Finn wrapped his arms around Kurt, holding him up when the smaller boy started to sag. "Are you hurt?" he asked. "Did they hurt you, or did they just..."

"I want to go home," Kurt whispered, giving a little shake of his head.

"Okay," Finn said. "Okay, we can do that. But just... you're not hurt, right?"

"I'm fine," Kurt said, pulling free from Finn's arms to push himself to his feet. "I just want to go home..."

"Are you sure? Because-"

"Finn." Kurt turned to look at Finn as he stood beside him, and that horrible blankness was still on his face. It was his cheeks, Finn realized. All the muscles in his cheeks, under his eyes and around his mouth (still so red from the tape), were slack. Kurt usually held himself tense, with that snooty look on his face. This looseness was just wrong. "If you don't take me home, I will start walking."

Finn nodded, picking up Kurt's bag and offering it to him. Kurt looked at it for a moment before taking it from Finn, sliding it over his shoulder mechanically and starting toward the parking lot.

In the car, Kurt slumped to the side, pressing his forehead against the window and staring blankly at the passing scenery. Finn kept glancing his way, wondering what was going on behind those unreadable eyes, but Kurt barely even so much as blinked. His hands were the only thing that moved, rubbing and twisting around the red patches on his wrist from the bindings.

"I'm really sorry," Finn said again as they pulled into the driveway. "I told Puck to lay off you. I thought he actually might..."

Kurt glanced at Finn but said nothing, picking up his bag again and heading inside. Finn followed more slowly, just watching.

Kurt toed his shoes off in the front hall and went into the den where Burt was sitting, dropping to his knees beside the recliner. "I know you don't remember me," he murmured, looking up at Burt's confused frown. "And I know you don't like me much. But I remember you, and I love you, and right now, I really need my dad..." His voice broke and he closed his eyes tightly, the blankness being replaced by pain. "Please... please, you don't have to do anything, just let me sit here..."

Burt glanced over at Finn, who shrugged and nodded. He didn't know how it would help Kurt, but if Burt could just not insult him, Kurt would probably be okay.

Hesitantly, Burt looked back at Kurt before he stretched out his hand and set it on Kurt's head, patting his hair gently. Kurt broke then, collapsing against the chair and sobbing, his hands pressed to his mouth to muffle the noise.

Finn turned away. He couldn't watch Kurt break down, because Kurt fought too hard to stay strong. Instead, he went into the kitchen, where his mom was. "I found Kurt."

"Where was he?" Finn's mom asked, looking up from the pasta she was stirring.

"At school still," Finn said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Some of the guys thought it'd be funny to put a collar on him and mess with him under the bleachers." Finn's mom gasped in horror, and Finn ducked his head. "They were... mocking him all week. Calling him my pet and stuff. Said animals needed to be on a leash on school grounds..."

"Oh my god! Is he all right?" Finn's mother set her spoon down, wiping her hands on her apron as she headed for the door, but Finn reached out and caught her sleeve, stopping her.

"He's... with his dad right now. And Mr. Hummel's not saying anything nasty, so... I think we should just leave them. He wasn't _hurt_, just... scared, I think. And embarrassed." Finn groaned, shaking his head. "_Why _would they do that to him! I mean, calling him names is one thing, but treating him like an actual animal!"

"People can be mean," Finn's mom said quietly, reaching out to give Finn a hug. "I'm just glad you were there to help... come on, then. If he had such a nightmarish day, why don't you help me make an extra-special dinner for him, hmm? Do you know his favorite food?"

"Um... he puts pickles in sandwiches?"

"Helpful," Finn's mom said, shaking her head. "How about salmon? I think I saw some in the freezer, and that's a nice, fancy meal..."

"Would you like some help?" Both Finn and his mom turned at the soft voice, seeing a red-eyed Kurt standing in the doorway. He still had some lingering redness from the tape on his face, Finn noticed, but he also looked kinda red all over. Red and tired.

"You look like shit," Finn remarked.

Kurt just rolled his eyes. "Gee, thanks," he said sardonically. "The day has been rather rough on my face..."

"Maybe you should just lie down, sweetie," Carole said. "Finn can help me."

"No, really, it's okay." Kurt stepped into the kitchen, taking the salmon out of Carole's hands. "I'd like to help. Like the distraction..."

"Of course," Carole said, offering Kurt a smile. "Why don't you get that defrosting? What else would you like with dinner?"

.

* * *

.

To Finn's surprise, helping out with dinner actually _did _help Kurt. It didn't take long before the other boy was giving small smiles, softly teasing Finn's mom about how much his dad liked her. Kurt was standing over the sink, peeling potatoes, while Finn had been entrusted to chop up some carrots and celery for a veggie tray. "No, but really, you two _would_ make a cute couple. Dad hasn't dated anyone since Mom died..." Kurt gave Finn's mom a sideways smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I think it's high time he had someone else in his life."

"Oh, well, I don't know..." Finn's mom answered, her cheeks a little pink as she busied herself with the pasta dish she was making. "I wouldn't want to presume..."

"You wouldn't be presuming anything," Kurt assured her. "Trust me, he really does like you. I can tell."

"Your father _is _a very wonderful man..." Finn's mom murmured.

"He is..." Kurt looked down at the potato he held, his smile fading. "Carole? If... if something happened to me... would you take care of him?"

"Excuse me?" Finn's mom asked, looking up.

"Just... if something happened to me," Kurt said, lifting his knife to take the skin off his potato. "If I died or something... would you make sure he's not on his own? At least until he can walk again?"

"Kurt, sweetie, nothing's going to happen to you," Finn's mom assured Kurt. Finn, though, could tell Kurt wasn't convinced. His face had gone blank again, just like it had been under the bleachers. He was probably thinking about that. If his bullies had ramped up their shit to that level... Finn swallowed nervously, looking down at his own knife. Maybe he should tell someone. A teacher or something. What if they _did _get worse? What if they _did _kill Kurt?

"But if something _does..."_

Finn's mom sighed, stepping over to Kurt and rubbing his arm. "Sweetheart, if something happens to you, I'll take care of your dad. Of course I will. But _nothing _will happen to you."

"Promise?"

"I promise." Finn's mom cupped Kurt's face in her hand and brushed a kiss over his cheek. Like every time she showed physical affection, Kurt looked startled and a little embarrassed, but he also smiled. "I won't let either you or your dad be alone should something happen to one of you. But nothing will happen."

"Thank you," Kurt whispered, closing his eyes. "I appreciate it..."

Dinner was a calm affair. Kurt had perked up while they made it, but he just sagged into himself as they ate, quietly watching his dad and Finn's mom awkwardly flirting. Burt didn't make any sort of barbed comments toward Kurt, just glanced awkwardly at him occasionally, and Kurt made no effort to join in the conversation, even when Burt asked Finn about school. Eventually, Kurt excused himself and went downstairs. Finn followed about five minutes later, not surprised to see Kurt at his computer, setting up his iPod for whatever songs he'd be playing tonight.

"So... uh... I was thinking, I could talk to Puck tomorrow maybe," Finn said. "Because what he did, what _they _did..."

"There's no need to do that," Kurt murmured, unplugging his iPod and taking it over to his stereo. After a few clicks, he had a song starting, a strumming of a guitar and then dialogue. _I don't suppose you'd like to see Maureen's show in the lot tonight, or come to dinner._ "It won't change anything."

"But it might help. Puck really listened last night..."

Kurt closed his eyes and bowed his head a little. _Zoom in, on my empty wallet_, said the iPod. _Touche._ "It didn't help anything today..." _Take your AZT._

"Kurt, I'm _really _sorry about that. They went way too far."

"It's not your fault, Finn. Please stop apologizing." _Close on Roger. His girlfriend, April, left a note saying 'We've got AIDS' before slitting her wrists in the bathroom._

Geez, Kurt's music was depressing today. Finn hoped it would pick up into a song soon.

"I'm going to take a shower."

Finn glanced over at Kurt and saw him looking back at Finn, his eyes scarily intense. His lips were pursed a little, but those eyes... they were begging him for something again. Pleading, just like when he gave Kurt back his coat at the beginning of this whole mess. Did Kurt want a kiss _now_? "Uh..." Now, when they were both awake and neither of them was looking distressed and broken? That was totally gay, no matter what Puck said. "Have fun with that?" Kurt could just go wank off in the shower on his own. Maybe Finn would kiss him afterward, when they were both ready for bed.

Kurt gave a short nod, taking a deep breath before turning toward the bathroom. He walked kinda funny, his back all stiff, like he did whenever he passed the dumpsters at school. Finn frowned a little as Kurt slipped into the bathroom, closing the door. The other boy paused, though, meeting his eyes across the bathroom through the crack before he closed them and pushed the door shut.

Finn rolled his eyes. _Freak. _Kurt was pretty, but he was also _weird._

The shower turned on, but the noise wasn't loud enough to cover the sound of Kurt's iPod. _Close on Roger. His girlfriend, April, left a note saying 'We've got AIDS,' before slitting her wrists in the bathroom..._

Finn frowned, lifting his head as the same song repeated _again._ It wasn't even a song, just a few snippets of conversation between two dudes with a guitar being strummed in the background.

When it repeated for a third time, Finn shoved himself to his feet and went over to Kurt's iPod, pressing the forward button to skip to the next song. Only the same song started playing again. Finn frowned, checking the symbols on the screen. Repeat all and shuffle, and there were supposed to be sixteen songs in this playlist... He pressed the forward button again, but only got the same song. Tune Up #3, Original Broadway Cast, Rent: Original Broadway Cast [Disc 1].

_'We've got AIDS,' before slitting her wrists in the bathroom..._

"Kuuuurt?" Finn picked up the whole stereo and carried it over to the bathroom door, frowning. "Kurt, I think your iPod's broken..."

Kurt didn't answer, so Finn sighed, backing out of the song to check out the whole playlist, Tune Up #3 still playing.

_...before slitting her wrists in the bathroom..._

"What the...?" Finn frowned as he scrolled through the playlist. Sixteen songs all right, but they were _all _Tune Up #3. He backed out again, looking at the list of playlists. Kurt labeled them stupid things, like one was Kurt's Superstar Playlist. Who labeled their playlists in third person? The one still playing now was right above the Superstar playlist.

Kurt's Suicide Playlist.

_...slitting her wrists in the bathroom..._

"Kurt?" Finn dropped his grip on the stereo (yet held the iPod, letting the speakers fall to the floor), before he pounded on the bathroom door. "KURT! Say something, dammit, or I'm opening this door!"

Finn didn't wait for Kurt to answer (or not, as it turned out), grabbing the handle and throwing open the bathroom door. At least Kurt hadn't locked it or anything like that. Immediately, his eyes dropped to the floor... where Kurt was not. There was no bloody mess, no dead body.

But there also weren't any clothes. Finn looked around the bathroom, his chest tightening up in panic. Kurt's hamper was in his closet, so he had to have put his clothes down _somewhere _before hopping in the shower. But they weren't here. The only place they could be hiding was the same place Kurt had to be—behind the dark grey shower curtain. "Kurt, say something, please," Finn whispered, edging toward the shower. Steam was curling over the top of the curtain rod, but Finn couldn't hear any sounds that would be Kurt washing himself.

He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathecouldn'tbreathecouldn'tbreathe... Finn watched his hand shaking as he grabbed the edge of the curtain, feeling a weird sort of detachment from the limb. It was like he was looking down a tunnel at someone else's hand, someone else's fingers.

With one swift pull, he yanked the curtain back.

Kurt was fully dressed in the shower. He was also sprawled on the floor of it, soaked through, his skin ashen. There was a kitchen knife beside him, and the water was red as it rushed down the drain.

Finn screamed.


	9. Chapter 9

Songs used in this chapter are: you tube .com/watch?v=6zGLSnZGZts "I Honestly Love You," by Olivia Newton-John; you tube .com/watch?v=qa3vzkNUVa0 "I Thank You," cover by ZZ Top (lyrics modified to be more appropriate for mother/son); and you tube .com/watch?v=bLyKEToqME0 "Please Remember Me" by Tim McGraw (not mentioned, but sung to Burt).

This site's reply to reviews function is acting up, so from this chapter on, I won't be replying to every review I get. I'm very sorry about that, but there you have it. When technology gives you 404s...

.

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* * *

**FORGET YOU NOT**

* * *

.

Finn remembered snapshots of what happened next.

He remembered screaming, loud and wordless. His throat still hurt.

He remembered his mom framed in the doorway, a knife in her own hand, looking ready to murder someone for making her baby shout.

He remembered Kurt's body cradled in his lap, heavy with water, his fingers clenched around Kurt's wrists hard enough to make his own knuckles turn white.

He remembered the blood, rich and red, oozing between his fingers, staining Kurt's prissy shirt, tinting the whole shower pink.

He remembered the paramedic who eased him away from Kurt and took over had rosy cheeks, just like Kurt's used to be.

He remembered every stop sign and red light on the way to the hospital, red like Kurt's blood. Kurt's blood was still on his hands. Red. Red there. Right there. Too much blood. Kurt was just a little guy. How much blood could one little guy have? Too much, it was too much...

Finn sat in the waiting room, staring blankly at the iPod he still held. He moved mechanically, pressing his thumb against the play button. The screen lit up, showing Kurt's list of playlists. Kurt's Suicide Playlist was still highlighted. Finn swallowed, rotating his thumb on the click wheel. Scrolling down, there were a lot of Kurt's playlists, a couple Mechanics playlists, and the standard "Recently Played" "Top 25 Most Played" and "On-the-Go." Scrolling up led to more interesting playlists: Garage Playlists, Jason's Stupid Playlist, and then one that caught his eye.

_For Finn_.

Above it were two more For playlists, For Dad and For Carole, and then there were Dad's Playlists above that, but Finn was only interested in the one with his name on it. He clicked. There was only one song in the playlist, and it was titled _For Finn _as well.

Headphones. He needed headphones. Finn turned to his mom, nudging her arm. "Do you have some headphones with you?

Finn's mom stared blankly at him, uncomprehending until he showed her the song. Her mouth opened a little in an 'o' of understanding, and she reached into her purse, finding her own mp3 player. She unplugged the headphones and silently handed them over to Finn.

Finn plugged them in, tucked the earbuds into his ears, and pressed play.

The music started right away, some slow song Finn didn't recognize. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as Kurt's voice joined with in the instruments.

_Maybe I hang around here_

_A little more than I should_

_We both know I got somewhere else to go_

_But I got something to tell you_

_That I never thought I would_

_But I believe you really ought to know_

_I love you_

_I honestly love you_

_You don't have to answer_

_I see it in your eyes_

_Maybe it was better left unsaid_

_This is pure and simple_

_And you should realize_

_That it's coming from my heart and not my head_

_I love you_

_I honestly love you_

_I'm not trying to make you feel uncomfortable_

_I'm not trying to make you anything at all_

_But this feeling doesn't come along everyday_

_And you shouldn't blow the chance_

_When you've got the chance to say_

_I love you_

_I honestly love you_

_If we both were born_

_In another place and time_

_This moment might be ending in a kiss_

_But there you are with yours_

_And here I am with mine_

_So I guess we'll just be leaving it at this_

_I love you_

_I honestly love you_

_I honestly love you_

Finn was shaking again as the music faded away, swallowing over and over again, trying to get that lump in his throat to go away. Kurt had... he had sung this song, for Finn. He had labeled it for Finn. And he had _meant _it. Kurt _had _loved him—no. No, _did _love him, because the nurse said he had gotten here in time. He wasn't going to die. She said he wouldn't...

There was a sigh in Finn's ears, and his eyes snapped open. It took him a minute to realize that what he was hearing was the recording, still playing on even though the music had stopped. Kurt's voice spoke to him, murmuring softly through the headphones.

_You probably don't remember the first time we met, but I do. September. First day of school, actually. Puck shoved me into the lockers, and you stopped him. "Dude," you said. "Impulse control!" And then you looked at me. You __**looked **__at me, Finn..._Kurt's voice was straining with the emotion. _It... I don't think I could explain it to you in a way you'd understand. People always look at you and see you. You're Finn Hudson. You practically __**glow**__. Nobody ever sees me. Did you know I've been called a faggot since I was five? __**Five,**_ _Finn. A five year old doesn't even know what _sex _is, much less homosexuality. But I was in a park, trying to play with some other boy, when his dad stormed up and yelled at my mom "Keep your faggot son away from my boy!" Five, Finn. I'll never be able to forget that..._ Kurt's voice trailed off, and Finn heard him take a deep breath. _But I also can't forget how you looked at me. Like I was human. Worth something. Deserved more than being shoved into lockers or walls or thrown in the dumpster, pelted with pee balloons, having my things stolen, broken, vandalized, furniture nailed to the roof, windows shattered, homophobic slurs spray-painted on the side of my house, anonymous phone calls being too vaguely threatening for the police to take seriously..._

_You looked at me, Finn, and you _saw _me, and I fell in love. And maybe it's a stupid thing to build a fantasy relationship on, one moment where you caught my eye and nodded—we both know you did a fair share of the harassment yourself, Finn—but I couldn't help myself. You were better than the rest. You looked out for me, even as you hurled those balloons—did you always miss on purpose? I would imagine you did, to cheer myself up afterward. But it was always just that. Just a fantasy. I couldn't be gay—you saw how my dad's been reacting. I couldn't be gay, couldn't come out, couldn't... I just couldn't._

_And then you pulled me out of that dumpster. Don't think this is your fault, Finn. It isn't. I decided to kill myself that day, actually. I would wait until Dad could walk again, and then I'd slit my wrists in the bathroom if he still didn't remember me. I don't want to be a burden on him. But you pulled me out, and you've been taking care of me, in your own misguided, occasionally—okay, quite oftenly—offensive way. And every time you insult me, I feel like screaming... but every time you apologize, every time you look at me, every time you touch me, I feel... I feel __**good**__, Finn. I can't remember the last time I felt so good._

_I'm sorry I ran when you kissed me. You have no idea how sorry I am. I wish... I wish I had been brave enough to stay. To kiss you back. To show you how much you meant to me. But I'm not brave, Finn. I was scared. Scared you'd hate me. Scared it was just some sort of joke. Scared of what it would mean. I'm scared, and I'm a coward, and now... now I'm dead. I think. I __**hope**__. God, I hope you never hear this while I'm still alive... I __**am**_ _scared. Such a coward..._

_I've decided to move my suicide up. If your mom can take care of my dad... I'll do it soon. This week, probably. Just to get out of all of your way. You don't need me dragging your reputation down. Dad doesn't need me making him uncomfortable. Your mom... she's so wonderful, Finn. I'd forgotten what it was like to have a mother around. Don't ever make her sad. She has a song on here too, make sure she listens to it, okay? Thank you._

_And... and thank you for the kiss. Because that was the biggest thing I was regretting, when I decided on suicide. I'd die having never been kissed. But that's not the case now. Of course, I'm still going to die a __**virgin**__, but... that's probably more than you needed to know. Thank you, Finn, for everything. _

_I love you. _

_I honestly love you._

The track continued to play for a few more seconds before looping back to the beginning, and Finn jammed his thumb on the pause button, sucking in a loud breath. His mom reached over, handing him a crumpled tissue, and he took it, swiping at his face. He hadn't even realized he'd been crying.

"Sweetie?" she asked quietly, touching his arm.

"It's his suicide note," Finn whispered, pulling the headphones out of his ears. "He... he spoke it. He left you one too, and one for his dad..."

"For me?" Finn's mom whispered, and Finn nodded, clicking over to her song before offering her the headphones. She accepted them with a weak smile, tucking them in her ears. Within seconds of starting the song, her face had crumpled and she was crying quietly into her own tissue. Finn reached over, wrapping his arm around her and just holding on.

"What did he sing for you?" Finn asked when she finally stopped the iPod and pulled the headphones out, several minutes later.

"_I Thank You_," his mom whispered, dabbing at her eyes.

"I don't know that one," Finn said.

"You didn't have to love me like you did, but you did, but you did. And I thank you," Finn's mom sang softly. "You didn't have to hold me like you did, but you did, but you did. And I thank you..." She had choked up again, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. "That poor boy... he knew he was going to do this. During dinner, remember? 'If something happens to me...' He's been so alone..."

Finn wrapped his other arm around his mother, hugging her as she cried against his shoulder. "They said he was gonna be okay," he said, squeezing his own eyes shut. "They said we could see him when they finished stitching him up..."

Finn's mom nodded, wiping her eyes again with her sodden tissue. "Thank god you were there, Finn. Thank god you found him in time..."

_I should have found him sooner_, Finn thought guiltily. _I should've found him **before**_ _he cut himself. He wasn't asking me for a kiss... he was asking me for__** help...**_

"Are you the ones here for Kurt Hummel?" A nurse was bending over them, her voice soft. Finn looked up at her and nodded, and she smiled comfortingly at him. "You can see him now. He's resting."

She led Finn and his mother to a door, allowing them to enter without following them in. Kurt was lying motionless in the hospital bed, his face pale, arms bare below the short sleeves of the hospital gown. Thick white bandages covered his wrists, and he had an IV in one hand. Burt sat beside him, casted leg propped up, one arm tucked under Kurt's shoulders, just holding him close. When the ambulance came, Burt, as Kurt's father, rode with him to the hospital. The shock of seeing his son, even if he didn't remember him, so close to death seemed to have stunned Burt into speechlessness at the house. Now, when he looked up, Finn was surprised to see the older man's face was damp with tears.

"This is my fault," Burt said, as Finn and his mom eased close to the bed. Kurt's eyes were closed, and his chest was rising and falling steadily. As far as Finn could tell, he was asleep. "I forgot him... god, the things I _said_. He's always looked up to me, always tried to be a good kid. I must've... I _did _kill him."

"This isn't your fault, Burt," Carole murmured, taking Burt's free hand in her own and squeezing. "You couldn't help having a brain injury..."

"I didn't have to be such an _asshole _to him, though," Burt said. "So what if he's gay? He's my _son_. That should have been enough!"

"You remember him now?" Finn asked, coming around to the other side of Kurt's bed. His hair was still damp, lying limp and unstyled across his forehead. Finn couldn't stop himself from reaching out and stroking it to the side in a pitiful imitation of Kurt's usual coiffed look.

Burt nodded, looking down at Kurt, his face tight with his anguish. "Seeing him like this... so little and helpless... Something just snapped in my head, and it all came back. Everything. Every little thing..."

"You can make it up to him now," Finn said. "It's not too late. When he wakes up, you can apologize. And then... just be there for him. That's all he wants from you."

"You were there for him," Burt said quietly, drawing Kurt a little closer to his side. "You were there to bring him home when those assholes attacked him. And you found him when he... you saved his life, Finn."

"I just screamed," Finn said quietly. "I didn't stop him from doing it..."

"You stopped him from dying," Burt said firmly. "I'll never be able to thank you enough."

Finn opened his mouth and then bowed his head, accepting Burt's gratitude without any further complaint. He didn't deserve it, but Burt wasn't going to let him push it away.


	10. Chapter 10

**FORGET YOU NOT**

* * *

.

There was a little couch in Kurt's room, and Finn ended up falling asleep on one end, curled up against his mom's shoulder. When he woke up, the room was dark, except for one light by Kurt's bed. Burt was still sitting beside him, but Kurt was twitching now, stirring under the sheets. Finn watched through barely open eyes as Kurt blinked, opening his own eyes and looking muzzily around the room.

"Kurt?"

Kurt turned his head, his eyes widening for a moment when he saw his father sitting beside him before he turned his face away. Partially in shadow, Finn could still see the pain on the other boy's expression. "Dad..."

Burt bent his head, his fingers tightening on Kurt's shoulder. "You're not allowed to do this to me, kiddo. Never again, you hear?"

"Dad?" The hesitance in Kurt's voice was hopeful as his eyes slid back around to his father.

"Yeah," Burt said gruffly. "Yeah, it's me. I remember you. God, Kurt, I remember you. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..." He leaned down, pressing a kiss to Kurt's now-dry hair.

Kurt closed his eyes, his lip trembling. "I just..." His voice shook in the quiet room, and he lifted one arm as if to reach for his face, but quickly let it settle back on the bed. "I didn't want to be a burden on you... a nuisance..."

"You're not," Burt said fiercely. "You never could be. You are my _son_, Kurt, and I _love you. _And this is _not _a solution you are ever allowed to try, ever again, you understand me?" He touched Kurt's arm, just below the elbow, so there would be no misunderstanding what he meant.

Kurt turned his face away again. "I'm gay, Dad," he whispered. "You hate fa-"

"Don't you say that word," Burt demanded, cutting Kurt off with a finger to his lips. "You are my _son_, Kurt. I love you."

"Didn't you hear me?" Kurt asked, his voice thick with tears. "I'm _gay_! I'm-"

"My son," Burt interrupted. "And I love you. Kurt..." Burt took a deep breath, cupping Kurt's face in one hand. "Kiddo, I knew you were gay by the time you were three. When you were three, all you wanted for your birthday was a pair of sensible heels, remember that? But I bet you didn't know I went to _six _stores to find you those heels. How the hell was I supposed to know what was a sensible heel for a three-year-old boy? I tried asking this one saleslady for help, but by the time I got the question out, I felt like a dirty old pervert and just left and bought you a truck instead. And you threw such a fit that your mom and I took you out for those shoes you wanted after your party, and I _knew _you were gay. But you know what? By the time you were three, I'd been madly in love with you for three years. I'd been ready to kill anyone who so much as _looked _at you wrong for three years. I'd been taking care of you, sheltering you, protecting you, feeding you, changing your diapers, and getting you dressed, playing with you, holding you as you slept, for three years. _It didn't matter that you were gay_. You were my little boy. I was your daddy."

Finn watched silently as Burt stroked Kurt's hair, as Kurt sobbed in Burt's arms. _Would my dad have been like that? _he wondered, not daring to move lest the two Hummels realized he was awake. He didn't want to intrude on their moment.

"By the time you were eleven, I'd confirmed you were gay. When you were eleven, you had such a crush on Jason, remember that? I knew, he knew, we _all _knew, down at the shop. And we'd say nothing, just smile as you got all googly-eyed and tongue-tied whenever he was working, and we'd try not to laugh when you'd trip over your feet running around trying to get him everything he asked for—and some things he didn't. And thankfully, you grew out of that crush before he had to break your heart. But you know what?" Burt smiled shakily at Kurt, meeting his son's eyes. "By the time you were eleven, I'd been madly in love with you for eleven years. I'd been taking care of you, sheltering you, protecting you, feeding you, holding you as you cried, teaching you about cars, for eleven years. _It didn't matter that you were gay._ You were still my little boy. I was still your daddy."

"Daddy," Kurt whispered, twisting to press his face into his dad's chest, shaking from the force of his sobs. Burt gathered him in his arms, holding him close.

"When you turned sixteen, I didn't know it," he whispered. "Not until I was sitting here by your bed, watching you sleep after attempting to kill yourself. I've made your life hell this past month, Kurt. I've insulted you, abused you, ignored you... and I drove you to this. And I'm sorry. God, Kurt... I've been madly in love with you for sixteen years, and I couldn't have screwed up worse. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"What time is it?" Kurt asked, his voice shaking just as badly as his father's.

"A little before midnight," Burt answered after a moment, twisting to look at the clock in the room.

Kurt smiled weakly. "I only wanted one thing for my birthday," he murmured. "And I got it..."

"_Kurt..._" Burt crushed his son against his chest again, pressing his face against Kurt's hair.

On the couch, Finn closed his eyes. _¡Feliz cumpleaños! _Happy birthday. _That's _what it meant. This had been Kurt's birthday. His sweet sixteen. That's why he had hugged Burt before school (and been pushed away); why Mr. Schuester had singled him out in class. It was his _birthday_. He'd been attacked and taped up and put in a collar on his birthday. And only the Spanish teacher had known. Nobody had offered him a present, or given him a card, or made him a cake... and Kurt had tried to kill himself in the bathroom, alone, on his sixteenth birthday.

_Pathetic_, Puck would say.

_Horribly pathetic, _Finn would agree. Because no one, not even weird Kurt Hummel, gay Kurt Hummel, who was pretty like a girl and sang with such emotion in his voice, Kurt Hummel who had loved him since the day he stood up for him, deserved that kind of loneliness. Or that kind of torture.

Kurt wouldn't be in school tomorrow. Finn already knew that. But Finn would be, and Puck would be, and Finn would make sure Puck stopped picking on him. This time, Finn wouldn't stop until Puck had.


	11. Chapter 11

**FORGET YOU NOT**

* * *

.

Finn got to school without saying a word to anyone all morning. Kurt had still been asleep when he left the hospital, and his mom seemed too lost in her own thoughts to try to engage him in conversation. Finn was grateful for that. He wasn't entirely sure what he _could _say.

And then he saw Puck, standing near his locker, arms crossed and tapping his foot like he was waiting for something. Finn blinked, and the next thing he knew, he had grabbed Puck by the collar of his shirt, growling as he slammed his once-best-friend against the lockers. "_He slashed his wrists_!"

"W-what!" Puck stammered, grabbing Finn's wrist and trying to shove him off. "Hudson, calm the fuck down!"

"Kurt!" Finn shouted, shoving Puck back against the lockers. "Kurt fucking slashed his wrists open last night! _And I found him_!"

Puck tried to dodge Finn's fist, taking it to his cheek instead of the nose Finn was aiming at.

"_You did that to him_!" Finn didn't care about the attention they were getting. He just cared about tackling Puck to the ground, slamming his fists into Puck's smug, smirking face.

"Finn!" Quinn's hands wrapped around his wrist, but he shook her off.

"You too!" he snapped. "You, and you, and, and, and _all of you_! You _all _did that to him!"

Puck was lying still beneath Finn, his chest heaving between Finn's legs. "He... Hummel's _dead_?"

Quinn was the first to gasp, the noise of shock rippling through the gathered crowd. Finn sat back on Puck's stomach, panting heavily. Eventually, he shook his head. "No. Got him to the hospital in time. Barely."

Puck closed his eyes, giving a shudder before relaxing beneath Finn. "Fucking Jesus... get off me, Hudson."

"No," Finn said. "No, you _asshole_. It was his _birthday_ yesterday! You fucking attacked him on his _birthday_!"

"I was trying to help!" Puck snapped, yanking his arms free to shove at Finn. "Get your facts straight, okay? I was trying to get him _away _from the other guys, cause you liked him so much!"

"Finn..." Quinn's fingers curled around Finn's wrist again, and she tugged gently. Finn moved automatically, climbing off of Puck and getting to his feet. Puck took a moment longer before he rose up as well, rubbing his jaw gingerly where Finn had hit him.

"Is he... is he gonna be okay?" Puck asked.

Finn's shoulders slumped. "I dunno," he said. "He woke up last night, but he was asleep when I left..."

"Fuck," Puck murmured, shutting his eyes. "Just... fuck, man. We didn't mean..."

"Well, maybe you gotta," Finn growled. "You gotta _start_ meaning." He looked around, looked at his classmates, at their shocked faces. "We _all _gotta!"

Coach Tanaka showed up then, fetched by another Cheerio, but the fight was over and he had nothing to break up. He sent both Puck and Finn to Principal Figgins' office, though.

Puck slumped in his seat outside the office as they waited their turn, glancing over warily at Finn. "Look, dude... I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know he was gonna..."

"Kill himself?" Finn asked, clenching his hands into fists on his knees. "Yeah, because you pay _so _much attention to him!"

"Dude!" Puck gave Finn's shoulder a shove, frowning. "Look, I told you! I was trying to help!"

"You were helping Karofsky and Azimio!"

"Because I'm not _stupid!_" Puck growled under his breath, hunching further down in his seat. "By the time I found out what they were doing, they'd already gotten him all tied up the collar on him and everything, okay? They wanted to beat him up and leave him leashed to the bleachers for you to find."

Finn was silent, glaring at Puck, and Puck folded his arms and looked away. "I knew it was his birthday," he muttered. "Mr. Schuester said so during Spanish. So I told them instead of beating him up, we should just give him a traditional birthday spanking—they weren't going to let him get away with _nothing. _I got him away from them, and I didn't _hit _him. Thought you'd _appreciate _me treating your boyfriend with kid gloves…"

"He's not my _boyfriend_," Finn grumbled.

"Because you didn't fuck him through the mattress yet?" Puck asked with a roll of his eyes. "Dude, doesn't matter what you say. He's _yours_. You've been giving him rides, following him through the halls… you've claimed him. Even Quinn knows. She's _pissed_. Chewed _me _out for it."

"Boys?" The secretary was looking over at Finn and Puck. "Principal Figgins will see you now."

Finn glared at Puck one last time before shoving himself to his feet and stalking into the principal's office. Puck followed a little slower, scuffing his shoes against the ground.

"Children." Figgins was sitting behind his desk, hands folded on his blotter. "Here at McKinley, we take violence in the halls very seriously. We seek to foster a safe learning environment for all our students."

"I just-"

Figgins raised one hand, cutting off Finn's complaint. "I have already been informed about the events of last night, Mr. Hudson. In light of the unfortunate circumstances, I am going to let you off with just a warning this time. I am very sorry for the traumatic experience you suffered through, but violence is not an option. If you are found fighting in this school again, I will have to suspend you, do you understand?"

Finn nodded, breathing out slowly. His mom wouldn't be happy if he had gotten suspended, but he thought she would probably understand this time. And it meant he could spend time with Kurt, making sure he was okay, but he didn't know if Kurt would want that or not. Thankfully, he didn't have to worry about it.

"Mr. Puckerman, this isn't the first time you've been reported fighting this year."

"I didn't even _do _anything!" Puck insisted, throwing his hands up. "Dude, I just got hit this time! Didn't even swing back! This totally isn't fair!"

"Nevertheless, Mr. Puckerman, this isn't your first offense. One week suspension, and you should be grateful it isn't more! Ms. Overton will see that your parents are informed."

Puck shoved his chair across Figgins' office as he got up to leave, and Finn followed him out more sedately. Puck sneered at Finn, curling his hands into fists. "I totally let you shove me around out there, and _I'm _the one getting punished?"

"I held him," Finn answered, turning his head to look at Puck. "I held his wrists as he bled. I screamed for help. Do you know what it feels like when someone is _dying_ in your arms? Cause I do."

"Dude-"

"Don't talk to me about _fair_." Finn said. "Just suck it up."


	12. Chapter 12

**FORGET YOU NOT**

* * *

.

Finn went to his first class feeling vaguely guilty for blurting out how Kurt had tried to kill himself in the middle of the hall. If he hadn't wanted people to know his mom was dead and dad injured, then he certainly wouldn't be happy they all knew about his failed suicide attempt.

Unfortunately for Kurt, though, privacy was not something McKinley believed in. Not when it came to suicide. As soon as the bell rang to start class, Mr. Ryerson stood up and cleared his throat. "Attention, kids, pay attention! I do so _hate_ to be the bearer of bad news, but it is my duty to inform you that one of our number succumbed to the pressure and stress that is high school and slit his wrists last night. Now, before any of you boys and girls get all weepy, let me assure you that Kurt Hummel did in fact survive and will be rejoining us next week..."

Finn shut his mouth and stared at his desk as Mr. Ryerson spoke about the 'negative effects of suicide' and 'the unfortunate romanticism of such an act.' It sounded like he was _trying_ to get a discussion going, but by the end of that first period, Finn felt like Mr. Ryerson was really trying to convince everyone that he'd been sleeping with Kurt. No wonder Kurt had dropped Glee...

At lunch, surrounded by jocks and cheerleaders, Kurt's suicide attempt was the main topic of conversation. Apparently every teacher had mentioned it first period, so everyone at school knew. They all knew when it happened (last night) and how it happened (slashed his wrists), but the _why_ was the part people couldn't stop speculating about.

It's because his dad forgot who he was. Finn poked at his tuna surprise, listening to some of the cheerleaders giggle over how it was his face that had driven him to such an extreme.

"Probably couldn't stand looking at that baby face in the mirror every morning!"

"Surrounded by studs, how could you blame him?" Santana Lopez leaned against Puck's arm (his suspension would start tomorrow, apparently). "Too ugly to be a girl, too chubby-cheeked to be a guy..."

"He certainly _sounded_ girly enough," Quinn giggled. "Sucking on helium all day, you think?"

"Sucking on more than just _helium_," Santana snickered. "Finnson, you've been giving him rides, haven't you?

The cheerleaders all tittered, ponytails bobbing, and the jocks smirked and caught each others' eyes and nodded in manly, yeah, we got the joke too, sort of ways. Finn swallowed the chunk of 'fish' in his mouth and set his fork down.

"Shut up."

"Finn, really, just because he slashed his wrists open doesn't change the fact that Hummel's a capital-L _Loser_. If anything, it just proves it." Santana gave a toss of her ponytail and smirked at Puck. To his credit, Puck didn't smile back.

"He's not a loser!"

"Finn," Quinn said warningly. "We talked about this..."

"No. No, _you _talked about this." Finn stared at his barely identifiable lunch food, frowning at the bubbling anger inside him. "I talked to _him_. And you know what? He's anything _but_ a loser. He can sing. Really well. Like, American Idol well. And if you ask him for a sandwich, he puts all kinds of good stuff on it, like cheese and tomatoes and pickles, even if you forget to ask for them. And he works at a garage after school, and can fix a car that won't start and can change a tire in twenty-nine seconds, not counting the time to get it up on the lift."

"Go on," Santana said, a malicious smile on her face. "Go on, Finn, tell us just how much you're in love with your gay boyfriend..."

"He's not my boyfriend!"

"Then what's the deal with all the mushy lovey sap you're leaking? You'd better watch it, Q, or your arm-candy's gonna defect to the other team..."

"Chill out, guys." Puck's voice was a quiet rumble from Santana's side. "Hummel tried to kill himself _last night_. Let's give the kid at least twenty-four hours to rest up before you start shredding him with your claws again, all right?"

"Hummel's not here to care," Quinn said, folding her arms and giving Puck that look she had reserved only for him, that look that said _You're scum and would be undeserving of my attention if you weren't so hot_. Finn had seen it many times over the past few months.

"Yeah, but Finn is," Puck said, gesturing to Finn. "And Finn's the one Hummel bled all over last night. So, dude, just _knock it off_."

.

* * *

.

Finn hated that he was cooler than Puck by default, but whatever Puck said went while whatever he said was laughed at. Still, he supposed he had to be grateful that Puck had gotten them to stop insulting Kurt. For now. By the time Kurt came back to school, though, that twenty-four hour ban would be long gone and Puck would probably still be suspended. For the rest of the school day, Finn walked through the halls feeling as if he were in a bubble. No one spoke to him. Not many people even looked his way. They all parted for him, though, and he could hear whispers behind him as he passed.

_... saw it happening..._

_... blood everywhere..._

_... boyfriend..._

When the final bell rang, Finn couldn't get out fast enough. He threw his books in his locker, grabbed his coat, and bolted out the door.

His fast wasn't fast enough to beat Quinn Fabray, though. She was leaning against his car, arms crossed, jiggling one foot as she waited for him.

"If you're just gonna insult Kurt, I don't want to talk to you," Finn said, slowing his run when he saw her.

"I wasn't," Quinn said quietly. "I was just... I wanted to know. _Are_ you gay?"

"I'm not gay," Finn answered. "But it's not like you believe me when I say that..."

Quinn sighed, stepping away from Finn's car and reaching out to slide her hands up his arms, tilting a smile up toward him. "Look, Finn, I'm sorry if I've been upsetting you. Let me make it up to you. Why don't you come over tonight? Mom and Daddy are going to be out at a party for most of the evening..."

Finn looked down at Quinn. She was still hot, with her blonde hair and soft boobs and that _uniform. _The Cheerios uniform alone made anyone hotter. It was like an automatic reaction—wear the uniform, guys will drool. Finn figured that even girls like... like... like Becky Jackson would be hot in a Cheerios uniform.

He bet Kurt would be hot in a Cheerios uniform. Kurt would look good in red...

Finn shook his head a little and reached up to catch Quinn's arms, pulling her hands off his. "Look, Quinn, I'm not gay, and I still really like you and all, but lately... Kurt's been a lot nicer. And he's really depressed right now, so I think I'm going to stay home tonight, maybe play cards with him or something, try to cheer him up."

"But Finn!"

Finn shook his head, releasing Quinn and stepping around her for his car. "Sorry, Quinn. I just... Not tonight, okay? Maybe next week."

Finn felt a little guilty for blowing off Quinn like that, but he just wanted to get home to see how Kurt was doing. Home. He meant the Hummels' home, which just happened to be where he was staying right now. Not that he was thinking of it as home or anything. He didn't think of it as home any more than he thought of how hot Kurt would look in a Cheerios uniform.

"I am so totally screwed," Finn mumbled to himself as he stepped inside.

The tv was on in the den, which didn't surprise Finn. As long as no infections had cropped up overnight or anything like that, Kurt would have been discharged before lunch, so he and Burt would be home today. What did surprise Finn were the noises from the kitchen, running water and the clinking of dishes. His mom had an afternoon shift today, so she shouldn't be home.

Kurt was the one in the kitchen, rinsing off a bunch of dishes and loading the dishwasher. He glanced up when Finn stepped into the room, his expression nervous, before he looked back at what he was doing.

"Should you be doing that?" Finn asked quietly.

"Loading the dishwasher?" Kurt asked, sliding the rack back in and closing the machine with his foot. "I slit my wrists, Finn, not broke my arms." He rinsed his hands off before shutting the water off, picking up a towel. "Did you have a good day at school?"

"No," Finn answered. "I mean... should you be up and moving around and stuff?"

"I slit my wrists, Finn," Kurt repeated. "I'm a bit sore, not helpless."

"Maybe you should sit down..."

Kurt sighed, crossing his arms, tucking his wrists (where white bandages were peeping out from beneath his long sleeves) away. "Finn, I'm fine now. Really, I am. Last night... I was being stupid and overly emotional last night, and I made a mistake. I shouldn't have tried to kill myself, but I did, and I'm over that now."

"Really?" Finn asked, unable to help the skepticism in his voice.

"Really," Kurt answered, lifting his eyes to Finn. "Finn... as long as I can remember, my father has always been there for me. This past month, he was gone. And without him..." Kurt took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Without him, apparently, I fall to pieces. I couldn't handle things like I used to. I screwed up, I made a mess of things, and I tried to take the easy way out. _Thankfully_, it didn't work. Thankfully... thankfully, you saved my life. And I thank you for that. Because I have my father back now. And he's here, and I'm still here, and... and nothing Puck or the others do can ever drive me to suicide again, because I'm worth more than that to someone. And as long as there's one person who values me..." Kurt shook his head. "I can't kill myself. I can't hurt someone else that much. So you have nothing to worry about. I won't... won't go slitting my wrists in the bathroom again. And I cleaned it."

"Your wrists?"

"The bathroom."

"Oh..." Finn glanced at the floor, trying to remember what the bathroom looked like when he'd left it last night. Pristine still, mostly, except for the pink water in the shower. "Uh... thanks. You didn't have to..."

Kurt shrugged. "Couldn't leave it a mess," he said quietly.

"I punched Puck."

"What?" Kurt looked sharply at Finn, frowning. "Why? I thought he was your best friend..."

"For what he did to you." Finn shifted awkwardly, then sighed. "He's been suspended for fighting. I just got a warning, because of the 'circumstances.'"

"Ah," Kurt said quietly. "Dad mentioned the school was notified..."

"Everyone knows," Finn said. "All the teachers talked about it to all the classes. So everyone knows, and we were told not to do it and that you'd be okay."

"I see..." Kurt's folded arms tightened a little, and he looked down.

"You're not okay." It wasn't a question. Finn took a step closer to Kurt, and then another when Kurt gave a tiny shake of his head.

"I didn't... I don't like people knowing what goes on in my private life," he admitted. "And now everyone knows that I tried to kill myself? That I'm that... pathetic?"

"I don't think you're pathetic."

"You have no idea," Kurt said scornfully, shaking his head and shutting his eyes. "You just-"

"I heard your song."

Kurt's head snapped up, his eyes wide. "You weren't supposed to!"

"You left your iPod playing," Finn said, taking another step closer to Kurt. He could see the way Kurt's chest rose and fell beneath his folded arms, the nervous lick of his lips. "I took it with me. Listened to it at the hospital. You _are _gay."

Kurt closed his eyes instead of looked away, his mouth a thin line. "You were only meant to have heard that if I actually died..."

"But..." Finn realized distantly that his mouth was running away without his brain attached. That happened sometimes. Usually, it resulted in him stuffing his foot in his mouth. "What you said. Sang. You shouldn't blow the chance when you have the chance to say." The song had been running through Finn's head all day, Kurt's clear voice still echoing in his ears. "If you told me _after _you died, that's blowing the chance."

"Finn..." Kurt opened his eyes, looking worriedly at the taller boy. "Can you... couldn't you just... forget what I said?"

"You're not a coward," Finn said quietly, setting his hands on Kurt's shoulders. Kurt sucked in a breath and froze, those blue eyes unblinking. "Except for about this. So... so I'm gonna be not-a-coward for both of us, okay?"

"Finn?" Kurt sounded disbelieving, his eyes flicking to Finn's mouth for a moment before meeting his gaze again.

"This time, though, I'm gonna ask." Finn leaned down a little, his heart pounding. _Don't chicken out now... don't be a coward... _"May I kiss you?"

Kurt's eyes closed for a moment, his lips opening in a silent 'oh,' and then he was giving the tiniest of nods. If Finn hadn't been so close, he wouldn't have seen it. Still, it _was _a nod, and that was all Finn needed.

He didn't go for the kiss immediately. Finn shifted his hands, sliding one down Kurt's back while the other went up to cup the back of his head. Kurt tipped his head back into the caress, those soft lips parting further. Finn waited, though, waited until Kurt opened his eyes again, watching him, before he smiled and pressed his mouth to Kurt's.

Kurt's mouth tasted of cherries again, soft and warm beneath his own, and Kurt wasn't a much better kisser when awake. His arms unfolded slowly, hands fluttering between them before settling on Finn's chest. This time, though, Kurt didn't push Finn away. His mouth didn't move at all; his body was tense beneath Finn's hands, fine tremors tangible on Finn's shoulders and beneath his own fingers. Kurt was... scared? Scared of what?

_I'm not going to hurt you_, Finn thought, taking a half step closer to Kurt, crowding his personal space even as he used his hand on Kurt's back to draw him closer, pressing their chests together. Kurt's gasp flitted over Finn's lips before he was _finally _responding, pressing back into the kiss, lips moving over Finn's. His hands slid up a little, fingers curling over Finn's shoulders before clutching, his body growing soft and pliable in Finn's arms. Finn grinned, catching Kurt's lower lip in his own and pulling it out, sucking lightly on the cherry-flavored flesh before releasing it.

"Is... if..." Kurt fumbled for words, his fingers kneading alternatively into Finn's shoulders. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"I don't think so," Finn said, looking down at Kurt in his arms. "I mean, I just told Quinn before coming home that I wasn't gay, but... but then I was thinking about how hot you'd look as a Cheerio." Kurt stared at Finn, and Finn gave a shrug. "There are guy Cheerios. They're allowed to wear pants."

"I..." Kurt closed his eyes and gave a shake of his head. "I'm sorry. I must be in some... am I still at the hospital? Hallucinating or something?"

"Why?" Finn asked, sliding his hand lower. Kurt had a _great _butt, just like Quinn's the one time she let him touch it. It was firm and round and Finn already knew it felt great to rub his cock into.

It also, apparently, was connected to Kurt's mouth, because the lower Finn's hand stroked, the wider Kurt opened his mouth, his whole face a needy plea. "Because," Kurt managed to say, "it just isn't possible that _Finn Hudson _is standing in my kitchen, feeling me up..."

"And kissing you," Finn said with a grin, leaning in to catch those tempting lips again. He spread his fingers over Kurt's butt, taking advantage of his open mouth to slip his tongue in.

Kurt was very rapidly going boneless in Finn's arms, and he pressed his leg between Kurt's to try to give him something to balance against, something to keep him upright. Kurt actually gave a moan as he tentatively stroked his tongue against Finn's, rocking his hips into Finn's thigh.

It was like a switch had been flipped. One moment, Finn's arms were full of Kurt's warm body, limp everywhere except the hardness pressing insistently against his hip, the next, Kurt was on the other side of the kitchen, gripping the counter and shaking. "Oh god, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean..."

"I, wait, what?" Finn looked at his open, empty arms. Kurt could move _fast_. "Kurt?"

"We shouldn't... I should just... I'm just going to go," Kurt whispered. "Dad's probably wondering what's taking me so long..." He slipped past Finn's arms, fleeing the kitchen.

Finn sighed, slowly dropping his arms and staring down at the bulge in his own jeans. He didn't even need the mailman this time.


	13. Chapter 13

**FORGET YOU NOT**

* * *

.

Finn groaned into his pillow, sprawled face down on his bed. Ever since Kurt fled out of the kitchen, he'd attached himself to Burt. Finn couldn't get a moment to pull Kurt aside and ask him what he'd done wrong without attracting Burt's attention, and now that Burt remembered Kurt again, he was suddenly all freakishly protective of the smaller boy, his arm around Kurt's shoulders, his eyes always on him. From the way Kurt was constantly smiling back at Burt, sitting close when they watched a movie together after dinner, the attention wasn't unwanted. Finn wasn't brave enough to talk to Kurt about kissing him in front of Burt, even if Burt wouldn't be able to chase him down.

Soft footsteps on the stairs caught Finn's attention, and he realized Kurt was in the room. Of course he was. This was his room too, and he'd need to get ready for bed.

Kurt hesitated near the stairs, and Finn rolled onto his side to look at the smaller boy. "You okay?"

"For the thousandth time today, I'm fine," Kurt answered.

"No, I mean..." Finn sat up slowly, watching Kurt. "You freaked out pretty majorly there..."

Kurt looked away, hugging his arms around his chest. "Yes, well... I was just trying to beat you to the punch."

Finn's brow furrowed in a frown, and he shook his head. "That doesn't make any sense."

"I'm a guy, Finn," Kurt said quietly.

"I know that."

"No, no it's not..." Kurt closed his eyes, reaching up to rub his face with both hands. "You know that. But you didn't _know _that. I mean, until you felt..." He pinked up a little, giving a vague downward gesture. "... my dick, you could focus on just my mouth, which is admittedly non-gender specific, or on the Cheerios uniform you were fantasizing about, and pretend you were still kissing a girl. Being not gay. Once you felt my... once you felt that, you couldn't pretend. Because no girl sports a..."

"Boner?" Finn supplied, since Kurt seemed to be having difficulty find a safe word to say. He grinned a little as Kurt's face turned even darker as he nodded. "Dude, it's okay. I already knew you were a guy."

"Finn, you don't-"

Finn shrugged. "I've grabbed your dick before."

"You... you _what_!" Kurt wasn't being all shy and looking away now. He was staring at Finn, that pretty mouth open again, his eyes almost as wide as Miss Pillsbury's. "What... _when_! How?"

"Um..." Kurt's shock didn't seem to be all the happy kind, so Finn shifted awkwardly before admitting what happened. "When we, um, shared a bed? I woke up and you were all cuddled up against me, and I was kinda..." He gave a jerking motion with his hand, nodding toward Kurt's crotch. "But I didn't! I mean, once I realized I was holding your dick, I stopped!"

Kurt gave a low, despairing moan, hiding his face behind his hands. "Oh my god..."

"Are you mad at me?" Finn asked, leaning toward Kurt. "Because I really didn't mean to grope you in your sleep..."

After rubbing his face again, Kurt let his hands drop, still pink-cheeked but looking rather resolute. "It was an accident," he said. "And you didn't break my nose for trying to ass-rape you, so... no, I suppose I can't really be mad. All things considered, it could... it could have been worse."

"Good," Finn said, offering Kurt a smile. "Good. I'm glad. Because… I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, you know. I liked it."

"Molesting me in my sleep?" Kurt asked, wide-eyed once more.

Finn hurriedly shook his head. "No, no, the having you in my arms bit. I liked holding you. Then, and then just today, in the kitchen… I didn't like holding you in the bathroom, but I think that was because you were wet and dying."

Kurt closed his eyes for a minute, and when he opened them again, he was looking much calmer and in control. "I… you like holding me?" Finn gave a little nod, and Kurt took a hesitant step forward. "Would you… maybe like to…"

"Hold you again?" Finn asked. "Can we make out?"

"I'd like that, I think." Kurt's voice was soft, but his eyes were bright, and he was taking another step toward the bed.


	14. Chapter 14

**FORGET YOU NOT**

* * *

.

When Finn cracked his eyes open, the dawn light was pouring in through Kurt's windows and his alarm was nowhere near ready to go off. But there was a warm body in his arms again, soft hair tickling his lips, and a leg between his own. Finn sighed, nuzzling against the back of Kurt's head, pressing a kiss to the nape of his neck. Last night had been...

Well, last night had been _fun_. Kurt was a much, _much _better kisser when he wasn't afraid Finn was going to punch him in the face, and after a few timid kisses, the smaller boy had really gotten into it, his hands wandering over Finn's chest and arms and back, touching with an awe-filled curiosity that Quinn had never had. And Kurt hadn't protested _any _of Finn's touches, even when Finn's hands palmed over his ass, groping and squeezing, smoothing down his thighs and drawing little whimpers from his mouth.

The mailman hadn't done anything to help Finn. With Kurt straddling his thighs, his fingers skimming up Finn's back under his shirt, his mouth sucking kisses down Finn's neck, the mailman had absolutely no power.

Shoving Kurt off him didn't really work either. Finn got about as far as grabbing Kurt's shoulders to push him off before he lost it, gasping, his hips jerking. Kurt had drawn back, confused, and it had been Finn's turn to blush and stammer and explain. Kurt had taken it well, though, his laugh happy as he settled back in Finn's lap to kiss him again.

Kurt hadn't gotten off last night. He hadn't _protested_, but he had gotten squirmy when Finn's hands wandered too close to his crotch. In the end, the two of them had collapsed onto the bed, arms around each other, drifting asleep between soft kisses.

And now they were here, Kurt's back against Finn's chest. Finn propped himself up on one arm, looking down at his sleeping bedmate. Kurt's face was soft and relaxed, though his hair was a mess from Finn's fingers last night, his shirt all wrinkled, the sleeves pushed up a bit, revealing the white bandages around his wrists.

_Yeah,_ Finn thought, reaching out to stroke his fingers up Kurt's arm. _I could learn to love the dawn… _

Kurt took a deep breath, rolling onto his back and cracking his eyes open. He looked blearily at Finn, blinking slowly. Finn grinned as he watched the awareness wash over Kurt's face.

"Finn?" Kurt's voice was muggy with sleep, thick and a little confused. "You're… still here?"

Finn nodded slowly, his fingers trailing up Kurt's neck and over the curve of his jaw. "Still got time before I have to get ready for school…"

Kurt reached up slowly, tracing Finn's cheekbones, reaching up further to press his hands into Finn's hair. "I never thought… I'd be waking up to you. Like this. Not freaking out…"

"I think I've had a slow freak out," Finn said. "Since that first morning. And then thinking about you all day… kissing you… thinking about you more…" He leaned down, brushing his lips over Kurt's. "Does this mean I'm gay?"

Kurt shrugged. "I'd say it's pretty safe to say you're not entirely straight," he said. "But this… this doesn't mean you're entirely gay either. You're probably somewhere in the middle."

"Being in the middle means I can kiss you?"

A smile and nod answered Finn's question. Kurt looped his arms around Finn's neck, drawing him down for another kiss.

.

* * *

.

Kissing Kurt all morning meant that even though Finn woke up an hour early, he still had to rush to get ready for school in time. School itself, though, wasn't too bad. Quinn had sidled up to him before class, but when she opened her mouth, it was to ask softly, "So… how is… Hummel?" She looked uncomfortable speaking his name, but she wasn't saying it meanly. She was _trying_. Finn had to smile, pulling a book out of his locker.

"Kurt's doing a lot better. His dad's getting better, and so he's really happy about that."

"So you cheered him up?"

Finn nodded, grinning as he remembered just how he had cheered Kurt up last night and this morning. "Oh yeah. We, uh, played cards."

Over the next week, Finn's life was split into two distinct realms. 'School' had Quinn and the cheerleaders and jocks (but not Puck), his reputation slowly recovering without Kurt around. And Quinn actually stepped up as the freshman queen bee, whipping out her own claws at anyone who started bad-mouthing Kurt (at least when Finn was around). Santana was still a little snarky, but then Rachel Berry tried to put on a one-woman production of some show with lots of singing and tap-dancing in the cafeteria and the whole school refocused its attention on chewing her up instead of Kurt.

'Home' was the Hummel house, with Finn's mom flirting with Kurt's dad openly, and Kurt offering him secret little smiles across the dinner table. Kurt still spent most of his time with his dad, but once it got dark, he was back in Finn's arms, all cherry-flavored kisses (it was his chapstick, Finn learned, that made him taste so good) and wandering hands and warm body. Sometimes, Finn could get Kurt to sing to him, but Kurt seemed shier about that than he did about touching and being touched.

After that first night, Kurt didn't fall asleep in the middle of making out. He would always detangle himself from Finn to get ready for bed properly, which included a ridiculously long moisturizing routine that absolutely fascinated Finn. He would sit and watch as Kurt's fingers plucked from his array of bottles and jars without even reading the labels, his movements like a little dance, so perfectly practiced and choreographed. Kurt always pushed his hair back from his face while he did this with a headband, which Finn had laughed at until Kurt sprayed him with some of his face stuff and it got in Finn's hair and dried all crackly-crunchy. "Do that too often," Kurt said with a sniff, "and it ruins your hair. Better safe than sorry."

"What are we going to do tomorrow?" Finn asked, nuzzling up against Kurt's cheek. They were currently lying in the sofa bed together, just touching, petting, hands stroking along sides and arms and faces. Kurt had finished his nightly pre-bed moisturizing routine and now smelled of creams and tasted of mint, but Finn had found he liked this Kurt just as much as he liked the perfectly-put-together, cherry-mouthed Kurt. "You're coming back to school…" His hand smoothed along Kurt's arm, circling around the bandages still covering his wrists. The cuts were healing just fine, the doctors had said, and the stitches could be removed soon. Kurt still had to have regular meetings with the guidance counselor and a psychiatrist, though, even though he kept assuring everyone he wasn't going to try killing himself again.

"I suppose we'll pretend we're nothing more than housemates," Kurt mused, sliding his arm back to catch Finn's hand, lacing their fingers together.

"Really?" Finn asked. "You'd be okay with that?"

Kurt shrugged, offering Finn a lazy slow kiss as smoothed his thumb over Finn's. "I'd like to still have _one _aspect of my personal life the school doesn't know about. And if it's that I can make Finn Hudson cream his pants every night…" He quirked a brow and smirked, earning him a rare blush from Finn.

"Yeah, _that _is not allowed out. _Ever._ But I meant…" Finn bumped the tips of their noses together, staring cross-eyed at Kurt. "With Quinn?"

Kurt sighed, pulling his hand free from Finn's and flopping onto his back. "Quinn's your girlfriend. I'm just your… I don't know. Cuddle-toy?"

"I don't know either," Finn said, slipping his hand under Kurt's shirt to stroke his flat belly. "I _like _you. I like all of this. And it's way more than what Quinn lets me do. Wouldn't that make it… make _you _my boyfriend, and her just my armcandy?"

Kurt sighed again, looking back to Finn, his face unusually solemn for this time of their night. "Would you take me out on a date, Finn? Classic dinner and a movie, hold my hand in public, walk me to the door and kiss me good night?"

"Uh… is that what you want?" Finn asked, frowning back at him. "I mean, we've got lots of movies here, and Mom makes great dinners…"

But Kurt was shaking his head, touching one finger to Finn's lips. "That's why Quinn's your girlfriend," he said. "Having a relationship with someone isn't about the sex. That's the perk. Having a boyfriend means having someone there who will support you, openly. You'll take Quinn out. You'll go to her cheerleading things, you'll hold her hand, you'll carry her books… but you'd rather keep this, whatever it may be, private. She's a marriage; I'm an affair. So don't call me your _boyfriend _unless you're willing to put it all out there."

"But I _like _you," Finn protested against Kurt's finger.

The smaller boy sighed, letting his hand drop. "I like you too, Finn. A lot. And I thank my lucky stars every night we do this. But you're not gay. You're not ready to come out as bi, and, to be honest, I'm not ready to deal with the crap I'd get for turning you gay. So date Quinn by day, and come back to my arms by night, and we'll just keep going as we are now."

"I don't want to cheat on her."

"Then you'll have to break it off with one of us," Kurt said with a shrug. "Or explain things to her and hope she's as accommodating as I am."

"She won't be," Finn said. "She's defending you now, but only because I made it clear that I'd pick you over her. I think that's why, at least. I think she's hoping I grow tired of you."

Kurt shrugged again. "When my dad can walk again, you and Carole will move back home, right? And that will pretty much put an end to this anyway…"

"What if I don't want it to be the end?"

"We'll deal with that when it happens," Kurt decided. "Who knows, maybe my dad will be so smitten with Carole he'll ask her to move in properly. As his girlfriend. And then, since we don't actually have a spare bedroom here, you'll just have to keep sharing with me…"

"If our parents date, won't that make us brothers?" Finn asked.

Kurt shook his head, leaning in to give Finn another kiss. "It's not incest," he whispered, "if it's your step-sibling…"


	15. Chapter 15

**FORGET YOU NOT**

* * *

.

Kurt showed up at McKinley High, dressed to the nines in Alexander McQueen and Marc Jacobs, his two all-time favorite designers. He had long sleeves on to hide the bandages, but just in case, he also had accessorized with leather cuffs over the bandages. Finn hadn't understood why Kurt fussed so much over his outfit, but he did understand why Kurt wanted to cover up the obvious sign of his suicide attempt.

"So, I have a meeting with Miss Pillsbury after school," Kurt said as they walked toward the building together. "And then I'm going to walk to the garage and Jason will give me a ride home. Which means… see you tonight."

"Tonight," Finn repeated. "See ya. Lemme know if anyone gives you a hard time…"

Kurt just smiled and gave a little shake of his head before heading toward his locker.

When Finn got to lunch, Kurt was already seated at a table by himself, a book propped up in front of him. He seemed intent on blocking out the rest of the room as he picked at his salad. Finn hesitated with his own tray, glancing at the table for all the jocks and cheerleaders, before he crossed the cafeteria. A couple heads swiveled as he passed, but nothing too major. "Mind if I join you?" he asked, setting his tray down across from Kurt's.

Kurt looked up, surprise momentarily flitting across his face. He looked around at the rest of the cafeteria and then gave a shrug, tucking a napkin into his book to mark his place. "Go right ahead," he said. "It's a free country."

Finn grinned at him, sitting down, but before he could say anything, _another _tray was set on the table, this time beside Kurt. Both boys looked over to see a chunky black girl dropping into the empty space. "Kurt Hummel?"

Kurt raised an eyebrow, glancing over at Finn before looking back at the girl. "Yes?"

"Mercedes," the girl said, as if reminding him of a name he should have remembered. "Mercedes Jones. We were in Glee together, right?"

Kurt's other eyebrow raised, and he gave a slow nod. "Yes… we were, actually…"

"Why'd you quit?" Mercedes twisted to look at Kurt, waiting expectantly for an answer. "You had a really good voice. Made Rachel all kinds of mad when Mr. Ryerson singled you out for a solo on the first day…"

Kurt's face went blank faster than Finn had ever seen it, with only a twist of his lips to show he didn't like this topic. "Mr. Ryerson."

"Ahh…" Mercedes nodded knowingly. "Yeah, okay, I can see that. He's totally perving on Hank Saunders now, though. But see, that's the problem. Mr. Ryerson and Hank are always off doing god knows what, which leaves the club high and dry with just… Rachel and me. We _need_ another guy's voice."

Kurt blinked slowly. "My voice isn't exactly 'traditional male,'" he pointed out.

"Screw traditional male," Mercedes said. "We need a guy who can carry a tune in a bucket. And baby, from what I remember, you can carry a tune in a bucket balanced on your head while dancing the handjive."

"That's an… interesting image…"

"Dude, you should totally do it," Finn said, looking between Kurt and Mercedes. "You're really good at singing. And this way, you have an excuse to sing all the time."

"Rachel hates me," Kurt pointed out. "She swore she'd never forgive me for quitting in the first place."

"Yeah, I know," Mercedes said. "That's reason number two why I'm asking you." Her grin was wicked, but not as evil as Santana's could be. Finn had to smile too when he saw it. "Rachel's one diva-rant away from driving me insane. I need some backup, and I'm not talking about chorus line…"

"My presence will only make things worse."

"It'll make things _fun_. And I promise, Mr. Ryerson is almost _never _around. He won't go trying to feel you up or anything."

"Do it!" Finn said, nudging Kurt's foot under the table. "Do it, do it, do it!" Kurt needed some more friends, desperately. This Mercedes sounded like she would be a fun friend for Kurt to have. And maybe that Hank guy. He wasn't so sure about Rachel Berry, but… Kurt liked to sing, so having friends who liked to sing had to be a good thing.

"Listen, white boy," Mercedes said, glancing at Finn before leaning in close to Kurt. "_Finn Hudson_ is telling you to join Glee. I think if you don't obey a direct command like that from him, that's the equivalent of social sui-" Her eyes flicked down for a moment, to Kurt's wrists, and Kurt blushed, actually _blushed_, in the middle of the cafeteria, dropping his hands to his lap quickly. Finn watched this exchange, torn between wanting to step between Kurt and Mercedes, to make sure she didn't insult him, and wanting to press his lips to that blush, tasting the hot skin like he did at night.

Unfortunately, the table between them meant Finn couldn't easily get to Kurt's side. Fortunately, though, the table between them meant Finn's momentary derailment into the gutter wasn't noticed by anyone else.

"There's no need to get all..." Kurt pursed his lips, looking down at his salad. "You don't need to watch your tongue like that, for fear of offending me. I did something stupid last week, and... and I'm not going to try it again. So there's also no need to," He glanced over at Mercedes, his mouth twisting in a frown, "_pity _me."

"You think I'm just asking you to join Glee because you tried to kill yourself?" Mercedes asked quietly.

Kurt looked away again. "The thought did cross my mind. After all, you weren't trying to get me to join the last time I was at school."

"Yeah, but last time you were here was before Rachel tried to get us to put on a production of Les Mis in the lunchroom. _That _was four days ago, and the last straw. I need someone else to help me head her off before she completely torpedoes what little social clout I have left. And if you've got issues..." Mercedes reached out, deliberately putting her hand on Kurt's wrist. "We've all got 'em. Give Glee a chance."


	16. Chapter 16

**FORGET YOU NOT**

* * *

.

Burt healed far too fast for Finn's liking. One day, Finn was sprawled on Kurt's bed, cheering him on as he showed off the song and dance the Glee Club was working on ("For what, I don't know. Just because it's fun, I suppose..."), his applause rewarded with a lapful of an already hot and sweaty Kurt Hummel, the next, he came home to find his mom finishing packing up the things that had made the migration with them to the Hummel house. "What's going on?" Finn asked, looking around.

"Burt got his cast off today," Finn's mom answered, offering Finn a little smile. "He can get around now without much difficulty, though he's still limping a bit, so we've decided that you and I can move back home. Burt should be able to manage now with just Kurt's help."

"Is that really such a great idea?" Finn asked. "Maybe we should stay..."

"Well..." Finn's mom smiled a little sheepishly, pushing her hair back from her face, "maybe we'll return someday. But not as a nursemaid, and not for a while! Burt and I... we don't want to rush things. Let him finish healing, and we'll get to know each other outside of this house... and maybe. We'll see. But I'm really happy that you like him..."

Finn was packing up his clothes in Kurt's room when Kurt came home from the garage, disheveled and dirty, like usual. The smaller boy hesitated in the middle of the room, his hands stilling on the buttons of his coveralls. They were half undone already, revealing the plain white t-shirt beneath the blue cotton. "You're leaving?"

Finn nodded. "After dinner. Mom said Burt got his cast off, so you guys don't need us around anymore."

"He did..." Kurt nodded slowly, "but I thought: tomorrow..."

"This means it's over," Finn said quietly, closing his suitcase. "This... whatever between us."

"We always knew it would." Kurt stepped up behind Finn, his touch soft on Finn's back.

"That doesn't mean I have to like it." Finn turned around, wrapping his arms around Kurt, hugging him close. Kurt gave a startled squeak—they usually reserved affection like this for night, when Burt and Finn's mom were asleep—but he returned the hug quickly, nestling his head against Finn's shoulder. "I don't want this to end."

"You just like the sex," Kurt accused Finn, pressing a kiss to the side of his neck.

"It's not sex," Finn pointed out. "Neither of us ever even get naked..."

"You come," Kurt said. "Sex isn't just intercourse, Finn." Finn frowned, and Kurt smiled against his throat. "Isn't just 'putting it in.' There's a whole lot more to sex than that."

"But we just grind..."

Kurt smiled again. "If you're getting off with someone else, then you're having sex."

"_You_ don't get off."

And there, that was it. _That_ was what had been bugging Finn all the times they did stuff at night. Kurt _liked _it, sure, if the hardness in his pants was anything to go by, but he always slipped off to the bathroom instead of letting Finn touch him. The only times Finn got Kurt off were if he woke up before Kurt and let his hand slide down to palm over Kurt's morning wood before Kurt woke up enough. Once Finn got started, Kurt never stopped him, and Finn _really_ liked the little sounds Kurt made when he was getting close to climax, bucking his hips into Finn's hand, his hair a messy halo around his flushed face, biting his lip to keep their parents from overhearing.

Mornings like that were few and far between, though. Kurt had a nasty tendency to wake up before Finn and slip away before they could get distracted by each other's mouths and hands.

"I get off..."

"Yeah, in the bathroom." Finn drew away from Kurt, looking down at his pink face before leaning down to kiss him. "You don't like me touching you."

"That's not true!" And the affront in Kurt's voice sounded too genuine. Finn frowned.

"Then why don't you let me?"

"I..." Kurt squirmed until Finn released him, moving to sit on the bed. With his coveralls unbuttoned like this, they puffed out around his hips and Finn could see down to the boxers Kurt had on beneath them. Finn wore his boxers to bed, but Kurt always pulled on long pants over his. Finn had only caught a couple of glimpses of Kurt in his underwear in the month they'd shared a room. "I just... I don't want _you _to not like touching me..."

"That's stupid." Finn tore his eyes away from the gaping coveralls to look at Kurt's face. "I get off, _every night_. Why wouldn't I like touching you?"

"Touching me... _there_." Finn couldn't help it. His eyes dropped back to Kurt's crotch. "I know you've... done it before, but always in the mornings when we're both half-asleep. And I just... I didn't want you to _realize_ what it entailed, to, to touch my dick and freak out and then end this early..."

"That's stupid," Finn said. "_You're _stupid. I'm not that stupid." He stepped over to Kurt, unable to not smile at the affront on Kurt's face. "I _know _you're a dude. I _like _you're a dude. And I _like _to touch you. There. Here."

The open coveralls were too tempting. Finn slid his hand into the open front, pressing against Kurt's flaccid penis. It twitched beneath his fingers as Kurt gasped, reaching up to grab Finn's shoulders. "Finn!"

"I _like _this," Finn said, stroking his fingers slowly over Kurt's growing erection. "And I'm not going to freak out about it. I'd probably freak out more if you _didn't_ have a dick."

"This... isn't fair," Kurt whispered, his fingers digging into Finn's shoulders. "Should've said something sooner... you won't even _be_ here tonight!"

"So we do it now," Finn said, pressing his mouth to Kurt's cheek, licking his tongue over the red flush there. Kurt's skin always _burned_ when he was blushing. "Right here, right now. You're already messy..."

"Our parents," Kurt gasped, though his hips gave a jerk at Finn's words, cock swelling even thicker in his hand. "They're right upstairs!"

"Did you close the door?" Kurt nodded, and Finn grinned, squeezing Kurt's cock. "Then we just need to stay quiet..."

Kurt nodded again, pressing his mouth against Finn's shoulder to stifle his moan. He spread his legs a little more, bracing his feet on the floor as he thrust up into Finn's hand.

"Look at me," Finn whispered. "Kurt, look at me."

Kurt slowly pulled his face out from Finn's shoulder to obey Finn's order, his eyes dark and unfocused, lips open as he panted unevenly. "Finn..."

Finn grinned, just watching Kurt's face as he pulled his hand away. The disappointment was immediately evident in the whine that escaped Kurt's throat, the way he closed his eyes and threw his head back in frustration. But Finn wasn't about to let him stay disappointed for long. He reached up for the waist of Kurt's boxers, shoving his hand down the front and grabbing Kurt's naked dick.

Kurt gave a shout, immediately yanking his hands off Finn's shoulders to clap over his mouth, staring at him with wide eyes. Finn stilled, holding his breath, his heart pounding in his ears. Burt could walk now. He could walk down steps. If he came down to find Finn with his hand down Kurt's pants...

"Kurt?"

Both boys flinched at the sound of Burt's voice, but to Finn's amusement, the hard cock he was holding didn't flag in the slightest. Finn knew his own boners would die sometimes if his mom caught him jerking off, but Kurt didn't seem to have that problem.

"You okay?"

Kurt pulled his hands off his mouth, swallowing visibly before calling back, "I-I'm fine, Dad! Just stubbed my toe..."

Finn grinned, giving Kurt's cock another pull, and Kurt pressed his hands to his mouth again, shivering, his moan muffled by his fingers.

"Want some ice?"

"No! No, I'm fine, Dad. Finn's got his stuff all over the place; it's probably best if you don't come down. I don't want you to trip and hurt yourself... I'll come up soon, okay?"

Finn laughed into Kurt's shoulder as the smaller boy tried desperately to keep his voice from shaking like the rest of his body. Kurt was jerking his hips helplessly into Finn's hand, though his position wasn't giving him much leverage. Finn just grinned, working his other hand into Kurt's underwear, reaching down to cup his balls.

"Dinner's in twenty minutes," Burt ended up calling back, and then they heard the bedroom door close. Kurt fell back onto the bed, reaching hastily for a pillow to shove over his face before he was coming with a cry that could never be mistaken for pain.

Finn pulled one hand out of Kurt's boxers to draw the pillow away from his face, still gently rubbing his cock with the other. He leaned over the smaller boy, pressing a kiss to his lips. "Told you I liked touching you," he said.

"I hate you," Kurt answered after he managed to open his eyes again. "So much. And you are going to _pay _for that. So much..." The threat was undermined by the way Kurt pulled him back down into another kiss before yanking him to the bed, rolling them over so Finn was beneath him, his hands trailing down to the fly of Finn's pants.


	17. Chapter 17

**FORGET YOU NOT**

* * *

.

It had been one week since they moved out of the Hummels' spacious house and back into their own tiny mobile home. One week in which Finn had tried to get used to sleeping alone; one week in which he learned that his right hand was not nearly as effective as Kurt's soul-sucking kisses. It had also been one week since Finn last _talked_ to Kurt. Aside from the occasional moment of eye contact in the halls, even more rarely accompanied by a tiny, barely-there smile, Kurt avoided Finn. He sat with Mercedes and Rachel at lunch now, their heads bent together over some music thing or their hands flying animatedly as they argued choreography. Puck nudged Finn back to the popular table during lunch now—while Finn had lived with Kurt, Puck would join him at the 'loser' table, looking awkward as he sat across from Kurt and offering a muttered apology for his behavior before asking Kurt if he was going to finish his fries.

Puck and Kurt at the same table had just been uncomfortable all around, so when Finn moved out, Puck all but begged (it was begging for Puck, but no one else would have called it that) Finn to return to the popular table with the jocks and Cheerios. Quinn had welcomed Finn back with open arms, and Santana had practically climbed into Puck's lap right away. Sitting with them, though, meant that Finn couldn't even talk to Kurt during lunch. Not that Kurt seemed to mind. No matter how much Finn watched him in the cafeteria, Kurt never even glanced his way.

Lonely. That's how he was feeling. Finn closed his eyes and sighed. He was feeling _lonely_ without Kurt Hummel in his life. He had to do something to get him back, even if it was just to talk to him a bit. But outside of school, Kurt didn't _do_ anything! He didn't play sports, he didn't hang out anywhere, he didn't race dirtbikes... He worked at Burt's garage, but Finn didn't know anything about cars, and he didn't think Kurt would like it if he hung around and just got in the way (and imagined sticking his hand in Kurt's coveralls again).

And Glee. He did Glee. Singing and dancing and just having fun, from the sounds of it. The club was too much of a joke to actually perform anywhere, and they _did _want more guys... Finn looked over at the loser table, contemplating it. Kurt was in Glee, and Kurt was awesome. Rachel Berry was in Glee, and she was a rather big freak... but he had thought that about Kurt too. So maybe she was secretly awesome. And Mercedes Jones... well, Kurt had already become glued to her side, so she just _had_ to be awesome. And Glee met Thursdays after school, which was not when he had a sports practice, so he could totally join without having to drop anything. Finn grinned. _Today _was Thursday. He could join Glee _today_, and Kurt would start talking to him again. And he liked music. Glee might be fun even if Kurt didn't talk to him.

Joining Glee was harder than he thought it would be. There was no sign up on the board, nothing in the handbook, no "Glee needs guys!" anywhere. All Finn could do was wander up to the choir room, take a deep breath, and push the door open.

The whole club, all three of them, looked up when Finn entered. Mr. Ryerson and Hank Saunders were nowhere to be seen, but Kurt was sitting on the piano bench with his legs crossed, a Pinocchio-style hat perched jauntily on his head. He looked startled when Finn stepped in, but then he smiled, a momentary broad grin that quickly faded into something more muted. Kurt almost never showed big emotions at school. But still, his grin was enough to soothe the fluttering in Finn's stomach.

Rachel was the one who spoke, though, planting her hands on her hips and her feet shoulder-width apart, staring Finn down even though she was easily half his height. "I'll have you know, Glee Club booked this room after school on Thursdays _every _Thursday for the rest of the school year, so if you've come here to kick us out, you have another thing coming!"

"Uh, no, actually," Finn said. "I was just wondering how I could join."

"Join?" And Rachel's eyes were suddenly wide and starry, and Kurt was looking surprised (but Mercedes was giggling into Kurt's shoulder). "You want to... to _join _Glee? Of course! We are _sorely _lacking leading males."

"Hey!" Kurt protested. "Just because I can reach higher notes than you does _not _mean I am incapable of being a leading male!"

Rachel gave a sniff, blocking out Kurt's words as she stared up at Finn in rapt adoration. "I need a man who can keep up to me vocally..."

"Girl, we don't even know if that boy can sing!" Mercedes pointed out.

"I sing in the shower..." Finn said, grinning sheepishly. "Does that count?"

"Why are you even here, Finn?" Kurt asked, tapping his fingers against his knee.

Finn looked at Kurt's hand, then at his face, and then offered him a smile. "You joined, and you had a lot of fun. I haven't been having a lot of fun, so I figured..." He shrugged. "Why not? Can't hurt to try it, right?"

"You need to audition," Mercedes said. "We all had to."

"Uh... what's the audition process like?"

"You sing a song," Kurt said with a shrug. "And then we vote if you're in or not. But don't worry. Unless you make our ears bleed, we'll vote you in. We need the bodies, or we risk being cut."

"Awesome," Finn said. "Uh... do I have to sing _right now_?"

Mercedes and Kurt glanced at each other and then turned wicked smirks at Finn. "Yep!"

"But I don't have... music or anything like that..."

"Name a song," Kurt said, twisting around to face the piano properly. He lifted the key cover and flexed his fingers. "If it's pretty popular, I can probably play it. Haven't ever missed a piano lesson."

It was like when his grandma asked him to speak Spanish because he was studying it, and even the word for 'hello' escaped his mind. Finn gaped like a fish as he struggled to think of some song, _any _song, that he knew how to sing. Kurt looked up, meeting his eyes over the piano, before giving a soft smile and pressing his fingers against the keys.

_I'll Stand By You_, by the Pretenders. It only took Finn a few notes to recognize the tune, and he grinned in relief. _He knew this song. _It was like karaoke, only without the words being prompted. "Oh, why you look so sad? Tears are in your eyes... come on and come to me now..."

Mercedes and Rachel cheered and clapped for Finn when he finished, and Kurt smiled at him over the piano. Finn smiled back at Kurt, taking a little bow.

"All in favor of welcoming Finn Hudson into Glee?" Rachel asked, thrusting her hand into the air. "Aye!"

"Aye," Mercedes and Kurt chorused, raising their hands as well.

"This is wonderful!" Rachel chirped, clapping her hands together. "We're evenly matched now! Mercedes and Kurt and Finn and I! Finn, you'll just _love _being a member of Glee. Our club may be small, but our hearts and voices are big!"

Rachel talked Finn's ear off for the rest of the meeting, but Kurt made room on the bench beside him for Finn to sit. He didn't press up against Finn, but their legs kept brushing and Kurt kept stealing glances at Finn. When the meeting _finally _came to an end, Kurt caught Finn's arm before he could move away. "I like Glee, Finn," he said quietly.

"I think I'll like it too," Finn said, grinning down at Kurt.

Kurt gave a little shake of his head. "What I mean is, I want to be serious about Glee. And if you want to be in Glee, you have to be serious about it too. Singing and dancing... you've got two left feet. You _have _to work on that."

"Oh..." Finn glanced down at his feet,then back at Kurt. "You know... I was kinda hoping we could hang out if we were doing the same thing. Have a reason to talk and stuff. I've... kinda missed you. So... that's why I wanted to join Glee."

"Really?"

"Really."

Kurt looked at Finn with those impossibly pale eyes of his, and then he was smiling, smoothing his fingers over his bangs. "You know what _I _think? I've kinda missed you too. _And_, I think if you're going to be in Glee, you'll need a lot of lessons in how to dance."

"Uh..."

Kurt released Finn, scooping up his bag and taking a few steps toward the door. Finn watched him go, watched as he paused and looked back over his shoulder. "My dad's back at work now," he told Finn. "The house is empty. Perfect for some... 'lessons.'" A mischievous smile curved his lips, and he cocked his head to the side.

"You coming?"


	18. Chapter 18

There seems to be some confusion, so I'm updating this story for the last time. Chapter 17 was the end of the story, and the status is now 'complete' to signify that. There will not be another chapter or a sequel, sorry.

Glee Club will continue to grow. Rachel gets Sandy fired, Hank leaves, and Will takes over as happens in the series. Puck joins because he's still feeling guilty, and he's gotta support his bro. Quinn follows Finn, but this time, to protect him from Kurt's menacing boyfriend-stealing ways. Britt and Santana follow half for Quinn, half for Puck. Tina and Artie join as usual. Puck bullies Mike and Matt into joining so the guys aren't outnumbered by girls. And thus the story gets back in sync with the show.

Thank you everyone for your great reviews! I've enjoyed sharing this story with you!


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